


Heart of the Matter

by Rizzleslvr72



Category: Grey's Anatomy, Rizzoli & Isles
Genre: Angst, F/F, F/M, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Sexual Content, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-19
Updated: 2015-04-26
Packaged: 2018-02-05 08:10:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 36,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1811395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rizzleslvr72/pseuds/Rizzleslvr72
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU. Follow up to The Beautiful Lie. After Boston and her dealings with Maura/Jane, Addison finally figures out what she wants but Meredith Grey decides to get in the way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Here I am again, throwing myself out there in another fandom. This story is a direct follow up to The Beautiful Lie. There is some reference from it so…you might want to read it first if you haven’t. Sorry for the inconvenience but I think it’s necessary to kinda merge the two stories. My Addison or the personality I created for her was so big that I finally felt she needed her own story. There will be some Rizzles. This is also AU Grey’s Anatomy. Assume some things but just to let you know there is no Izzie, George, Little Grey or annoying other residents…oh yeah, and no Zoila or baby for Derek/Meredith. This is my first Grey’s fic so be gentle if my version of the cast doesn’t fit exactly that’s because are my derivations as well.

 

* * *

 

Addison Montgomery sat in the rented BMW and peered out at the sea of cars in the second floor Seattle Grace parking structure. A long sigh escaped. Many things had changed in the past few weeks and Addison was intent on keeping it that way. It was past time to acknowledge and confront the loneliness that had been dancing just under her skin. One night stands had become useless, resulting in a numbness that completely defeated the purpose.

Her thoughts whirled toward Jane and Maura. It was cliché. They had both overcome so much and were stronger than ever. It filled her with a hope, a four letter word that had damned her so many times before. Addison couldn’t shake it. The feeling grew as if something inside her had made her fertile to the concept. Still, this hope warred at times with her own innate practicality, making it fragile at best.

Addison was unlikely to find any resolution in Seattle, but she made the trip nonetheless knowing that she was to be confronted yet again by elements from her past. Her marriage had been a lifetime ago. Nonetheless, just like with Maura, there were parts of her that were still tender. To complicate matters even more, Addison was vulnerable, torn between wanting the happiness Jane and Maura shared and the belief fostered by sheer pragmatism and years of disappointment that she just wasn’t capable of it. This was not the best place to be in her current state. Seattle Grace was full of sharks. They would smell the blood. Addison was still unsure why she had agreed to come, but she was determined to make the most of it.

Addison held her head high, deeming herself impervious to the never ending melodrama that surrounded this place. Meddling had always been her forte, but now, she hadn’t the slightest inkling to do so. She wanted her feet on more solid ground. Addison was tired of flailing. Her heels clacked against the concrete as she walked, adding to the echo of other footsteps.

Even though it was muffled, a distinctive chime came from her Prada handbag. Addison paused to sift through it. Removing her cell phone, she studied it as she resumed her trek to the elevators. Full lips curled upward. It was a text from Jane

**_U were supposed to text when you got in last night._ **

Addison’s fingers flew over the keys. **_It was late. I was sure you’d be wrappd around Maura by then._ _Went to bed._**

 ** _Alone?_** Jane asked a few seconds later.

The doctor smiled at the other staff as they piled into the elevator. Some were even gracious enough to use their words in greeting, which Addison returned. She moved toward the back as her phone sounded a reminder.

Addison bit the inside of her cheek as she stared at the text. She had to be careful with her reply. She was the last thing Jane should be concerned about. The elevator dinged loudly as it traversed floors.

**_Yes, I can’t be ON all the time. You’re up early._ **

A reply came a few seconds later.   ** _Working. Haven’t been to sleep. Frost is about to shit himself cuz he knows I’m talking to you. He says he’d stll drink bath water._**

The doctor laughed out loud. Heads turned in her direction. Addison held up her phone. It seemed to be enough explanation. Their attention waned almost immediately.   ** _Where do you find these ppl?_**

**_I always attract the strange ones._ **

The doctor shook her head. Sometimes Jane left herself wide open. _**We do all flock to you. Must be that magic tongue.**_

The detective’s reply was quick. **_Rolls eyes. Gutter bunny._**

 ** _One of the best._** Addison added _._ Listening to the dings, she still glanced up toward the highlighted numbers as the elevator ascended then stopped at the third floor. The doors opened some people exited while others got on. She waved at a couple of nurses.

**_I wouldn’t know. U got to look plenty but not touch. ;)_ **

**_Ask your girlfriend then. She has plenty of stories from med school._** _Addison_  just couldn’t resist.

 ** _Uh huh. Fuck you very much_** _._ The detective continued.

Two more chimes. This was her stop. Addison didn’t look up from her phone as she moved forward, bumping into the people in front of her. “Sorry about that!”  She gently pushed her way through.

**_What r u doing anyway?_ **

**_Just got to the hospital._** Addison answered.

**_So all you did last night was sleep?_ **

The doctor cringed. She knew it was coming. **_Just me and a couple of shots of Jameson._**

 ** _U ok? Because that’s just weird._** The detective asked _._

 ** _I’m fine. Y?_** Knowing she was going to be interrupted if she just hung out in the hallway, Addison headed for the cafeteria. Coffee was in order.

**_Yeah, sure u r. I’m on to u but will let u go. I’ll let Maura know we talked last I saw of her she was elbow deep in some guys chest._ **

Addison ignored the blatant sarcasm. Refusing to take Jane’s bait, she added a little of her own.  **_She’s always been good with her hands._**

**_Goodbye Addison!_ **

**_LOLz_ **

Addison slipped her phone back into her purse.

*

Addison brought the large plastic cup to her lips and sipped at the coffee inside. She continued to peer at the skyline. The morning fog seemed to dissipate before her very eyes, leaving a breathtaking view of Seattle in its wake. The clean lines of numerous buildings loomed over the water. It was made even more poignant by her vantage point on the roof.

“I always wanted to know if you were a screamer.”

Addison whipped her head around in surprise, nearly losing her coffee in the process.

Callie Torres grinned. The curvy dark haired Latina moved closer. “Let me push you off the side and see. I deserve a little revenge. You don’t call. You don’t write. I haven’t heard from you in almost two months.”

“Time got away from me, I think. Plus, I’ve been busy.”

“Stirring somebody’s pot?”

“I-“

“Don’t even go there. It’s what you do.”

Addison smirked. “It always turns out well in the end. Speaking of which, how’s Arizona?”

Callie’s eyes narrowed. “Great,” she growled.

“After all this time, it’s still hard to admit that I was right about you and women?” The doctor chuckled.

“I refuse to admit that you’re right about anything…ever.”

Addison snorted. “How the fuck does she deal with all that stubbornness?”

Callie’s smile completely transformed her face.

“That’s disgusting.” Addison muttered jokingly. Her stomach fluttered. It was just another reminder of what she did not have but sorely wanted.

“I didn’t say anything!”

“You didn’t have to it’s oozing out of you.”

“That’s disgusting.” Callie admitted.

“That’s what I said!”

When Callie stopped laughing, she murmured. “I can’t believe Grey of all people convinced you to come here.”

Addison shrugged. “She didn’t really. I don’t even know why I came.”

Callie stared.

“What?”

“Something’s going on with you. I can tell.”

Addison waved away her suspicion. “I’m fine.”

Callie glared.

“I am!”

Callie’s glare intensified.

“Fuck you!”

The dark haired doctor smirked. “No thank you.”

Needing to divert, Addison murmured, “You never wondered about it?”

Callie’s eyes widened and she shoved a finger in Addison’s face. “Stop it!”

The red headed doctor raised her coffee cup and free hand into the air. “What? I didn’t—“

“You’re doing that thing.”

“What thing?” Addison asked.

“That thing you do when things get too personal…you know, run?” Callie added smugly.

It was Addison’s turn to glower. “I was talking about sex!”

“That’s your way of running.”

A little flustered at getting caught, Addison decided that humor was the best recourse. “I don’t need your kind of negativity in my life.”

Callie blinked. “Wha?” Then, a chuckle escaped. “Did you slip something in your coffee this morning?”

Addison snorted indelicately, “Don’t I have to in order to stay sane in this place? It’s like a Shakespearian play.”

“True…it is.”

“And then there’s the mega couple at the center of it all. I just don’t get it.”

“Mmm, well there’s trouble in paradise.”

“I heard. Meredith told me.”

“Oh really?”  A dark brow rose.

Addison rolled her eyes. “Yes, really. She called me while I was in Boston, but that’s so not the point.”

“Uh huh. Well, they’re barely speak---“

Addison held up a hand to interrupt. “I don’t want to know. I’m just here to work and catch up with some friends. I don’t want to be a part of anybody’s drama.”

Callie paused. “You’re really not okay.”

Addison looked away. It was odd. Only the people who knew her best could sense that something was off. Heaviness infused her, evaporating her good humor. “Can we just drop it?”

The quiet stretched between them.

Callie nodded.

Addison took a long pull of now tepid coffee.

“It’s nice to see that the roof is still your favorite place.” Callie murmured softly.

Addison turned back toward her friend. Her attempt to smile was feeble at best, still, she hoped it was enough to relay gratitude. The few people in her life who really counted had spoiled her with their loyalty, acceptance and understanding. Calliope Torres was among them.

**

Meredith pressed the heel of her hands against her eyes, willing the fatigue to evaporate. She was starting to learn that tequila and insomnia were not a good mix. She peered blearily at the board. “Thank goodness.” She was on Bailey’s rotation today. It usually meant charting first which translated to the possibility of sleep.

A ridiculously large coffee cup appeared on the counter in front of her.

“Your usual with three extra shots.”

Meredith groaned as she reached for her drink. “You really do love me.” The words lacked inflection. “At least somebody does.” She added sharpening her tone with sarcasm and blatant irritation.

She could almost hear Christiana rolling her eyes. “It’ll feel like you don’t have eyelids after drinking that.”

Meredith murmured in thanks. She leaned against the nursing station, taking the first sip.

“Am I staying at your place again tonight?” Yang asked.

“Owen’s not getting offended?”

Christina scoffed. “He knows better than that.”

“Nice to know he’s so well trained.”

“Yeah, maybe he can offer some pointers to Mr. Hair.”

Meredith grumbled unable and unwilling to hide her grown exasperation. “How did I miss it? I mean, if had seen what an arrogant prick he could be I probably wouldn’t have---“

“Yeah you would.” Christina interrupted.

Meredith sighed and pushed away from the counter. “You’re right.” They walked slowly down the hall.

Yang’s lips curled upward. “I always am.”

“He’s not even trying to fix this. I think he honestly believes that it’s my fault. I can’t begin to tell you how tired I am of being treated like shit.” Just the statement alone, left her floundering. She didn’t feel like she was in control of anything anymore outside of the OR. Rumors bombarded her at every turn, and then there was Derek…this complete and utter mess with Derek.

“Mer.”

“What?”  The word came out more prickly than she intended.

“You keep repeating the same questions and making the same statements over and over again. Has it helped?” Thankfully Christina ignored the snippiness.

“Well…no.”

“Then try something different.”

“Such as?” Meredith asked.

“Like do you really want an arrogant prick in your life who’s trying to hold you back?”

Meredith stopped walking. “Interesting question.”

“I know.” Dark eyes twinkled.

“We’ll talk about it over drinks. No tequila though I need a clear head. Maybe we should try something from Skinny Girl.”

Yang’s nose scrunched. “Is that like Boone’s Farm?”

“Noo, it’s kinda like light beer but with wine and cocktails.”

Her nose stayed scrunched. “So, like diet Boone’s Farm?”

“Christ…just bring beer.”

“That, I can do.”

A pager beeped. They both looked down.

“That was me,” Christina announced. “I’ll catch up to you later.”

Meredith nodded and watched her go. She took a deep sip from her high octane coffee, hoping it would help. She was familiar with physical, mental and emotional exhaustion but to wrestle with all three simultaneously left her hanging on by a thread. Then, there was the anger, the frustration and the hurt. These emotions were commonplace, but Meredith thought for once there was going to be a reprieve.

There was none.

The doctor was sure she’d earned the right to have a little light in her life, but Christina and surgery remained the only constants. Meredith blinked, realizing she had drifted inside her own head. When she became aware of her surroundings once more, a familiar form appeared in her line of sight.

With confidence, Addison Montgomery weaved around the people meandering in the hallway. A bolt of envy shot through her. There was something about this woman. Meredith had always felt almost childlike in her wake. Meredith was no slouch as a surgeon, as a doctor, but Addison--- 

Refusing to tumble further into habitual hero worship, she yanked herself from her reverie. This wasn’t going to be a pleasant conversation. They almost never were. Meredith’s defenses crept upward, and she reached out with what protected her the most snark and humor.

Addison barely made eye contact, but it was enough.

“Nice to know I have so much influence over you.” Meredith stated with faux sweetness.

“Don’t flatter yourself. It’s a challenging case. I still don’t get why you were the one calling me.”

Meredith shrugged. “I was doing a rotation in obstetrics. Everyone in the department is new, so I thought it would be better to hear from someone you’re familiar with.”

Addison’s smile was tight. “I don’t know you Grey.”

“No, but you know of me. That’s enough…for now.”

Their gazes met and held.

Addison leaned closer, invading her personal space. “That’s enough for always.”

In the face of everything that was going on, Meredith could not keep herself contained. “Why is it you don’t like me? Not that I care. I’m just curious. I didn’t steal Derek. He was already gone, and you didn’t want him anyway.”

“True, but that’s not the point. I don’t care if you’re Ellis Grey’s daughter. I’m not going to fall in line and worship you like everybody else does here.” Addison growled.

Meredith was momentarily floored. Then, she laughed but sobered quickly. “You don’t know a god damned thing about me.”  Slowly, she became aware of the many eyes watching them. This little spat would be all over the hospital in fifteen minutes.

“I don’t-“

She grabbed Addison by the arm, pulling her into what she hoped was an empty on call room.

The red head sputtered. “What the f—“

“Despite what you believe I don’t want my life broadcasted all over the hospital, and I’m sure you don’t either.”

They glared at each other.

“You’re so fucking wrong about me.” Meredith leaned against the door, blocking the exit.

“Why would you care, Grey? Is it some kind of ego thing? Everybody has to like you?”

Meredith had no idea why she was pushing the issue, but she did it anyway.

Addison closed her eyes and released a dramatic sigh. “Look, I don’t want to fight with you. I don’t want to fight with anybody. I don’t have the energy for this. Boston was exhausting. I thought we were going to be like passing ships or whatever it was you said on the phone.”

“You remembered that?” Meredith asked incredulously.

“Yes, consult, ex husband’s an ass and passing ships not necessarily in that order. Now, can you get out of my way?”  Addison closed the distance between them. Her face was red in obvious anger.

Meredith continued to hug the door. Her hands clenched into fists as her own aggravation began to rise once more. She wanted something to work out today. Why not this? “Look, can’t we just—“

“No.” Addison’s reply was emphatic. She crossed her arms over her chest.

Feeling the situation spiral further, Meredith grasped onto it tighter. “You don’t even know---“

“I’m not kissing your ass Grey!”

Something snapped. Meredith could literally feel it when it happened. The thin strip of tape that was holding her together gave way. “From what I’ve heard,” she hissed. “You’ve kissed a shit load of them. You and Mark should be in competition as the hospital whore. So why not add mine to the list?!” While this had nothing to do with their present conversation, she was now invested. Meredith hurled the insults into the other doctor’s face. She wasn’t sure when she moved, but there was barely an inch between them at this point.

Addison’s color darkened. “You whiny little---” She sputtered, tripping over her own words.

The air crackled around them, sparking with energy that only increased the volatility.

“Who do you think you---“

Meredith watched full lips move, but the words sounded distorted. She wanted it all to stop for a moment…the helplessness, the anger and everything else that had been living in her head. Meredith lashed out at it all, reaching out to control it in the basest way possible.

“Grey! Are you---“

She crashed her lips into Addison’s.

The other doctor gasped and Meredith took it as an invitation. Her tongue stroked the inside of Addison’s mouth. The other doctor stiffened, but Meredith was in no way prepared for her own reaction.  Heat blazed its way down her chest and curled into her abdomen tying it into hard knots. When it all settled in liquid form between her thighs, Meredith moaned and pulled Addison closer, tangling a hand into her hair.

The red haired doctor seemed to melt into her. Then, the moment was over. Addison wrenched away and wiped the back of her hand across her mouth. Blue eyes were wide, accusing and stormy with other things Meredith couldn’t decipher.

“What…the fuck?!”

Meredith looked away, feeling more listless than she had a few minutes before even as arousal snaked its way through her body.

“If that’s not evidence that you’ve lost your damn mind! Don’t you ever….” Addison growled. Her chest heaved. “Just get out of the way!”

Still refusing to meet the other doctor’s eyes, Meredith stepped away from the door.  Addison’s presence hovered for a moment, infusing the area with her emotions. Seconds later, she was gone. Meredith blinked and tried to stave off the impending sense of drowning. “What was that?” She whispered.

___

Feedback is welcome. Am I wasting my time? What do you think?

 


	2. Chapter 2

First, I have to share this with someone! I am in love with Amy Poehler (Parks and Recreation). There is just something about her just screams naughty…ugh! Okay, phew that was just burning inside me. Don’t tell my partner! Anyway, here is another chapter. Remember this is AU so the characters are not gonna exactly fit nor are the situations according to the show itself. I don’t know every Grey’s tidbit so I’m making shit up sometimes. Also, medical jargon the disorder discussed is very real. I think my confidence with this one is gaining with each chapter. Feedback as you know is always welcome and frankly it is sometimes needed. This chapter isn’t betaed but I’m still calling MSonya a bitch.

 

* * *

 

Addison rolled her neck from side to side trying to get rid of the stiffness. The doctor fought the yawn that threatened, filling her mouth with coffee instead. Sleep had been hard to come by last night, but thinking had been prevalent. Renewing her albeit distracted efforts, she continued to stare at the new ultrasound, seeing only a formless blob instead of Abigail Blake’s distorted uterus and unborn child. Her attention was elsewhere, dividing her focus.

Addison opened Abigail’s chart, hoping the contrast between the written word and image would startle her brain. It didn’t help. She knew the chart already from cover to cover. She closed her eyes and leaned back into the chair, momentarily abandoning her efforts.

She had only been in Seattle Grace for one day and chaos had already ensued with the help of Meredith Grey. A few weeks ago, Addison would have finished what Meredith started, but she didn’t want to be that woman anymore, despite the surge of arousal and her body’s needs. She in no way equated her reaction to latent attraction. Grey had been a willing body…a beautiful woman just like all the others. No other explanation was acceptable.

The situation had been helpful in its own right. She knew now more than ever what she wanted. It wasn’t sex. It wasn’t one night stands, and it wasn’t conflict all of that led to continued emptiness. Addison’s ability to walk away from Meredith was the first steps down a completely new road. Regardless of her weariness, Addison felt lighter than she had in ages.

The door to the on call room burst open a giggling brunette practically fell inside. She was closely followed by Mark Sloan.

“Occupied!” The woman screeched.

Addison met Mark’s gaze. His eyes started to twinkle, and a slow smile spread across his face. Addison groaned inwardly.

“Share?” He asked hopefully eyebrows rising high on his forehead.

The dark haired nurse made a choking sound at the suggestion.

“Uh, no. It’s not even 10 a.m., Mark. Starting a little early?”

“You have your morning coffee. I have my morning…” His lips twitched. “You get my drift. Plus, she just finished her shift.”

“Mmm.” Addison tried hard to hide her smirk. The man was incorrigible but underneath was an enormous heart. She wouldn’t have him any other way. A monogamous Mark Sloan would be the first sign of the apocalypse. 

“I texted you after I got out of surgery yesterday. I was hoping we could catch up.”

“I texted you back. Just like I always do.” Addison muttered.

“Didn’t get it. I hate Sprint.” He muttered as he sat down, forgetting about his conquest.

Addison snorted. “You’ve been saying that for how long now?”

“I know right?!”  He leaned forward, making himself comfortable.

The nurse coughed.

They both looked in her direction.

Mark peered at his watch. Stood up and wrapped an arm around the woman’s shoulders, whispering something in her ear. She nodded, and he grinned like he’d eaten the whole canary. “I’ll see you at four.”  Mark made a sound in the back of his throat as he watched her leave.

He glanced over his shoulder at Addison. “Did…you see that?”  He walked toward her, sitting again. “I’m serious. Did you?”

“What?” Addison responded, knowing she was going to regret it even if it was entertaining.

“It was all natural. I could tell. Best set of ---“

“I’m not going to sit here and listen to you objectify women.”

Mark’s face fell. Confusion clouded his eyes. “Why? Are you sick?”

The look on his face alone was enough to inspire laughter. “No,” Addison answered as she settled into chuckles. “Maybe, I’m just not in the mood.”

He stared. His lips pursed. “You’re going to listen anyway. I don’t have anybody else to talk to! Derek has his head too far up his own ass and Hunt is…well…Hunt.”  Mark leaned forward. His smile was boyish as he whispered, “I have stories to tell.”

Addison grinned in return. “I’m sure you’re about to explode.”

“You have no idea.”

“I don’t want to hear any of them either.”

“Oh, come on! What kind of friend are you? I’m even willing to listen to the tales of your lesbian exploits.” His smile turned smarmy.

Addison glared. “How gracious of you.” She deadpanned. She sighed and threw her hands up in surrender. “Fine, but after work. You’re buying the drinks, and maybe after I’ve had a few I won’t cover my ears at the icky parts.”

Mark almost looked offended. It quickly changed to his patented grin. “I don’t have any icky parts, remember?”

“Barely.”  She smirked and brought her thumb and index finger together, leaving an inch between them.

He sputtered. “That’s just wrong to even insinuate!”

Addison snorted.

Mark’s eyes narrowed. “I don’t like you very much right now.”

“Strangely, I’m okay with that.”

“But it’s better than dealing with Derek.” His eyes were downcast. “I don’t even know who he is anymore.”

Addison bit the inside of her cheek. She didn’t want to get into this, but this was Mark. “It’s that bad?”

“He’s almost completely remapped the brain, and he’s being vetted by pretty much every hospital known to man. I thought it was because he was overworked at first. I mean, it’s Derek, but it’s like nothing else matters. He reinvented the wheel and he knows it.”

As a doctor, Addison knew that they all had the propensity to lose themselves in their craft. “I can’t believe he even pushed Grey away.” She cringed inwardly not liking at all the way Meredith’s name tasted in her mouth especially after yesterday’s fiasco.

Mark scoffed. “More like she left a sinking ship. She’s an excellent surgeon capable of just as much as Derek is. Not according to him though. He really tore into her. People are still talking about it, and it’s been a while. I tried to talk to him about it, but he tried to rip me another asshole too.” He studied her for a few seconds. “I’m sorry. I know you don’t like talking about him.”

Addison shrugged. “I know what he means to you. It doesn’t really hurt anymore, and I’m past feeling guilty. It’s just too much water under that bridge to even try to cross it.”

“True.”

She mentally shifted gears, but the alternate subject was no better, Meredith Grey. Addison pushed away the sudden flutter in her stomach, refusing to even acknowledge it. “I guess that explains her weirdness.” The woman’s life is falling apart.

“What are you talking about?” Mark asked.

Addison waved a hand brushing her words away. She stood and closed the chart. “Nothing important. I need to go find Robbins. I’ll see you later.”

He nodded.

As she pushed the door to the on call room open, Mark added. “Be prepared to be awed by my greatness!”

Addison rolled her eyes.

*

A little less distracted, Addison studied the ultrasounds and other images. She moved closer as Arizona pointed at a particular capture.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen a case of Placenta Percreta this severe. It’s growing into the bladder and adhering to the peritoneum.” Arizona stated.

“I agree. Surprisingly, for the moment, the fetus’ vital signs are in the normal range.” Addison added.

“For the moment, but you know in most cases birth is premature. We have to be creative here. There’s too much organ involvement for there not to be any damage.”

“Well, isn’t that why I’m here?”

Arizona’s head tilted to the side as she glared.

Addison chuckled. “What? It’s true.”

“You wear that arrogance like a coat. Don’t you?”  Arizona smirked. Blue eyes glittered.

“Something’s gotta keep me warm.” The other doctor muttered. The words just tumbled out of her mouth without the least bit of permission.

A blonde brow ascended high on Arizona’s forehead. “Come again?”

Addison growled hating the moment of vulnerability. “Nothing…just.” She turned back to the scans. “I may be able to detach the placenta with minimal damage to the bladder but it will be a lot trickier saving her uterus. Give me some time.”

For a few seconds, there was only the hum of surrounding equipment.

“Addie?”

“Can we pretend like you never heard that?”

Their eyes met. Addison attempted to steel herself against inevitable questions.

“You know better.” Arizona responded. Concern colored her features.

Addison ripped the scans off the wall and put up more. She needed the moment to make a decision…to hide or put herself out there.

“I know we’re not as close as you and Callie, but—“

“Are there any women left over in this hospital that you or I haven’t slept with?” Addison asked in a rush of word vomit. The previous tension left her body as a whole new kind made a home.

Arizona blinked. Her mouth fell open. “Uh…” Then, it closed. A few seconds later a confounded expression slid over her features. “Did you just insinuate that I was a ---“

Addison held up a finger, forestalling the other doctor’s reply. “It’s the truth so don’t even go there.”

Arizona blushed. “Well, in my defense---“

“Don’t. Go. There.” Addison urged with a slow smirk.

The blonde’s lips quirked, and her eyes glinted with aggravation. “Fine, yes I do, but Callie is a better judge of character than I am sometimes.”  Arizona’s look became thoughtful.

“Good. Do that pow wow thing you two do and get back to me.” Dismissing the conversation, Addison peered at the board. In the periphery, she watched Arizona and waited, hoping that this was the end of discussion. She licked her lips. Her heart thudded. This…having to do this stung her pride. Addison Montgomery was no slouch when it came to women…to bed, but anything else was an unmitigated disaster. If she wanted to make changes, she was going to have to ask for help.

“Wait a minute. So, you want us to set you up on a date? I’ve seen you in action---”

“Fucking was the ultimate goal then. That, I’m really good at.”

Arizona’s eyes widened in understanding. “Gotcha.”  Her answering smile was huge, bright. Instead of pushing for more answers, the blonde turned back to the board. “Minimal damage to the bladder? Abigail will be happy to hear that.”

Addison peered at the blond doctor’s profile for a second longer. She wanted to state her thanks for Arizona’s discretion, but she knew it was simply implied.

**

Meredith stared at the surgical board, but she didn’t really see it. She was well aware whose service she was on today, Callie Torres…Ortho. There were more than likely a million things she could be doing. Yet, her body was not really cooperating.

Aware of the stares from the nurses, Meredith opened a random chart and studied its contents. It was far from stimulating reading, and it left her thoughts free to wander. She was losing her mind. There was no other explanation for it. Stress and misery…they did strange things to some people, and she was just one of those statistics.

She was a married woman.

Well, not really, but that was beside the point. She was a heterosexual woman. The knowledge offered no solace at all. In the moment, heteronormative tendencies had jumped screaming out of the window. All that remained were soft lips, heavy breathing and a surge of arousal strong enough to make every synapse in her body take notice. Still, Meredith knew that wasn’t the issue that was the most troubling.

It wasn’t so much what she did. It was who she did it with.

Derek’s ex-wife.

She paused examining the situation further and wondered if it was some weird attempt to get back at him. Meredith racked her brain, recalling the entire encounter. Besides a mention of his name, thoughts of Derek had been nonexistent.

This was all Addison Montgomery.

Meredith had simply wanted everything to stop. She wanted to feel something else instead of the collision of emotions that had been bombarding her as of late. However, she in no way expected what she got in return. Her life was a mess of immense proportions. There was no need to exacerbate matters further. This whole thing was a fluke. It had to be. No other explanation made sense. Her shoulders sagged as her thoughts circled back around to Derek. A mixture of frustration and pain bloomed in her chest and sat there laden.

She had never been important to a lover before. Derek had made her feel that way. She had never been loved before. Then, Derek said the words. She had never been looked at as an equal. She still wasn’t. Meredith never knew how significant that was. Now, she was questioning the validity of it all. If things like that existed, they couldn’t disappear overnight.

To make matters worse, Meredith was sure there was nothing she could do about it. She didn’t even know if she wanted to try. The doctor pushed the unsettling thoughts back where she needed them to be. Nonetheless, she could make one thing better. Meredith owed Addison an apology and possibly an explanation. In the mist of it all, maybe it was even possible to alter the other doctor’s incredibly skewed perception of her.

It was a distraction from the bigger issues of this Meredith was aware, but she was going to welcome it for what it was. The doctor closed the chart. There was work to do.

Someone bumped her shoulder. Meredith glanced in the general direction. With raised eyebrows, Yang stared back at her.

“You want to know what I’ve been doing for the past thirty minutes?” Her tone was light, conversational, but Meredith could always uncover the undertones.

“What?” Meredith countered.

“Watching you from down the hall. Look, I know there’s a lot going on, but I thought we had gotten over a hump…or something. I don’t know where you were last night. I know it wasn’t with me. You didn’t even seem to notice I was there.”

“I did. I was just…stuck in my own head I guess.”

Yang’s nose scrunched. “You’re a talker so what you just said made no sense to me.”

“I know. I’m just trying to sort it out. I don’t want it to become bigger than it actually is.”

Yang blinked. “Uh huh. I’ll try to make myself available when you figure it out.” A smirk took the sting out of the words.

Relieved there was no pushing, Meredith muttered. “I’ll do that.”

“Mmm, so Joe’s tonight? Can’t be in your own head with all those people around.”

Meredith nodded. She didn’t believe that for a second.

“Shit.” Christina whispered.

“What?”

“Just…maybe he won’t even bother.” Yang added.

“Huh?” Meredith continued, totally confused.

“Your post it note husband!” She hissed.

Meredith stiffened, but she looked anyway. Derek had his nose buried in a chart as he moved toward them. As if he knew he was being watched, he glanced up. Their eyes met. His gaze was shuddered, unreadable. Stubble covered his face, but the rest of him was perfectly coiffed.

Nails dug into Meredith’s forearm. “Don’t. It’s what they’re waiting for.” Yang whispered.

Meredith sucked in a deep breath through her nose, releasing it slowly. She could feel the eyes on her now more than ever. Her body literally shook in an attempt to contain her emotions. As if he could feel it, Derek peered at her… through her. He made a notation in the chart and walked away.

She counted to ten and pulled away from Christina’s grip. With as much calm as she could muster, Meredith followed. He disappeared into the male staff bathroom. She had no qualms about going in after him.

Meredith pushed the door open violently. Derek stood at a urinal. The only other man present left rather quickly.

“Do we have to do this in here?”  His tone was flat but irritation shined in his eyes.

“Is that what you want? To pretend like I don’t exist?” Her voice was thick and full of emotion.

His jaw tightened. “When you’re like this yes.”

“I’ve done nothing to you. You seem to keep forgetting that.”  Meredith’s hands fisted, and she was compelled to move closer.

“That’s bullshit and you know it.”  Derek turned completely and zipped up his pants with exaggerated flourish.

“There’s no other way to say this and for the hundredth time, it’s not my fucking fault!” She yelled.

“We were a couple! You didn’t think turning the position down would impact me?! All the other hospitals didn’t matter. Maryland was what I wanted. You know that!”

“It wasn’t about you.”

“Three years. It’s all I asked for. You were supposed to be my assistant. It was a package deal. You could’ve picked your career back up afterward.”

“I’m not a neuro surgeon, and I never gave you a definite answer. You just assumed!” He just didn’t get it, and no matter how hard she tried, Meredith was afraid he never would. It was the same discussion over and over again. They were getting nowhere. She wanted to support him, and she had told him as much. Derek had taken it as permission to brush away her dreams and ambitions like they were nothing, making the decision for them to leave Seattle Grace without further discussion.

“So to one up me, you went behind my back and rejected your offer.”

“Isn’t that what you did in the first place?!” Meredith snarled.

“You’re such a fucking child sometimes.”  Derek waved a hand in the air. “Doesn’t matter. They got somebody else to head up the program. It’s done so just leave it the hell alone!”

The door to the bathroom swung open. They both turned. Christina’s eyes burned into Derek’s before moving her gaze toward Meredith.

“Mer?”

“Yeah,” she answered tiredly. “I’m coming.”

**

Addison could feel Mark staring at the side of her head. She downed the whiskey and turned toward him.

“What?”

He studied her quietly, but the perplexed look on his face told Addison all she needed to know. Mark was a very observant man. Most people didn’t give him credit for it.

He leaned in to ensure that he was heard over the chatter and music. “Okay, what gives?”

Addison motioned for another drink as she pondered on how much to tell him.

“Just because you don’t answer me doesn’t mean I don’t know something’s going on.”

She stared at him. “What?”

“You heard me.”  He brought the tumbler of scotch to his lips, watching her over the rim.

“I thought you had stories.”

“Three o’clock, six and ten. They have been watching you since you walked in. You’ve barely glanced their way.”  Mark ignored her attempt to change the subject.

Addison shrugged.

Mark’s eyes narrowed.

Out of nowhere, Karev appeared. He leaned against the bar between them. Raising a hand, he signaled the bartender, then eyed them both as he waited. “Who pissed in your drinks?”

Addison glared at him.

Alex grinned.

Mark smirked and peered at them both. “Up for a little wager, Karev?”

Addison watched with rising apprehension.

“Depends.” Alex answered.

“Drinks are on the losers for the rest of the night.”

“Okay, I’m curious.”

“Thirty minutes. The person with the most phone numbers wins. If you walk out of here with a woman on your arm ten minutes…automatic win.”

“Is this between me and you?”

“No, the three of us.”

Addison groaned as two sets of eyes turned her way. “No…just no. I’m not twelve and this isn’t a playground.” Knowing that through her indignance she had revealed too much, Addison glared in Mark’s direction.

“What’s wrong with her?” Alex asked.

Mark’s eyes sparkled. “I got your drink. Thanks for the help.”

Karev scowled. “Whatever.”

Addison downed another shot and waited for Mark to strike.

“I wouldn’t have to go through all this if you’d just spill.” He paused. “You’re seeing someone.”

A bark of derisive laughter escaped.

His forehead wrinkled. “You’re playing for the men’s team again?”  His voice went up an octave.

“Uh, no.”

He threw his hands up in exasperation. “You have to give me something!”

Addison sighed. “I just don’t want to do this anymore.”

Tilting his head to the side, Mark continued to stare. “Well, hell that’s just more for me.” He grinned.

Addison shook her head and let the laughter come.

**

Addison was celebrating. She felt accomplished after turning down two offers of companionship. It had been easy, deceptively so. The doctor had expected some kind of withdrawal symptoms, but there were none. Pleasantly buzzed, Addison closed one eye in an attempt to gage her aim. She stumbled slightly, but was able to successfully hang onto the dart and her drink.

Mark chuckled. “I’m not trying to distract you, seriously. You’re doing a bang up job on your own, but I have a question.”

She lowered the dart and gave him her full attention. “Really? It couldn’t wait five seconds?”

“You’ve been staring at the dart board for six minutes.”

Irritated by his comments, she turned back to the game. “Whatever. What’s the question?”  Addison raised the dart, intent on throwing it. She pivoted her forearm back and forth, trying to gain momentum.

“Why has Grey been staring at you for the last ten minutes? She’s only been here for fifteen.”

Launching the shot, it immediately went wide imbedding into the wall three feet past the target. “Fuck!”

Rattled by his observation, Addison did her best not to show it. Images flashed, creating an unwanted warmth. “What the hell does that have to do with anything?”

Mark shrugged. “Was hoping you could tell me. It’s weird. Grey’s watching you and Yang is watching her do it.”

“Wait…what?” Her brain was entirely too fuzzy for this.

“Grey…is…watching…you.” He enunciated slowly.

Addison snorted, bringing her drink to her lips. “Probably waiting to attack me again.” She mumbled.

Mark’s features pinched in confusion. “What did you just say?”

Realizing she was letting too much slip, Addison put her drink down. Perhaps she’d had enough for tonight. “Nothing…just poking fun. Ignore me.”

“Uh huh.”

Addison rolled her eyes. “I’m going to the bathroom. Be right back.”

The line to the ladies room moved quickly. It was a weeknight after all. The crowd was a lot thinner than usual. When she exited the stall, Addison stopped mid stride. Meredith Grey was washing her hands and peering back at her from one of the mirrors.

“Great.” Addison murmured. Ignoring the other doctor’s eyes, the red head approached an empty sink. Meredith’s gaze was heavy, intense enough to feel. It almost burned. Stimulated but aggravated by the invasion, Addison glanced at the blonde and hissed, “Stop.”

“I didn’t—“

“You’ve done enough. Just fucking drop it. I can hear you thinking from here.”

“I just wanted to talk.”

“We don’t have anything to discuss.”  Addison dried her hands quickly and left.

She was barely to the hallway when she heard her name being called. Addison ignored it. The hand on her arm halted further progress. Tiny prickles of sensation raced over her skin culminating to a flash of heat. Addison jerked away from it. Suddenly breathing heavily, she looked down at her arm and then back to Grey.

Meredith’s eyes were wide. She licked her lips. “I just wanted to apologize.”

“Whatever.”  Addison began walking again, brushing past other women headed toward the bathroom.

“Addison! Wait!”

This time, the hand was on her shoulder. Her body reacted the same. For a moment, Addison was breathless then she began to rebel against the sensations. It had nothing to do with Meredith her mind screamed. This had been her routine after all… a few drinks and woman to ease the ache. It was only a form of muscle memory…her body’s way of maintaining the status quo. Addison refused to acknowledge that this recent theory had already been rendered moot. She whirled around. They nearly collided. Addison’s stomach knotted at the intensified contact.

Meredith gasped and backed away.

Addison followed, invading the blonde’s personal space.  Meredith’s breath was ragged. Her chest heaved, causing the blonde’s breasts to strain forward, continuing the heated interaction between them. Addison’s heart rammed against her rib cage. Awareness snaked down her spine and coiled around them. Their gazes locked.

Meredith’s eyes strayed to Addison’s lips, making them tingle.

“Mer?”  Christina Yang’s voice was loud. It dripped with concern and confusion. “What’s going on? Are you okay?”

Addison stepped back and shook her head to clear it. “None of this means anything.” She growled softly. Refusing to even look in Meredith’s direction, Addison muttered, “Yang,” in terse greeting before walking away.

Back in the gaming area, Addison grabbed Mark’s drink as she breezed past him.

“Hey!” He exclaimed as the red head knocked it back with a gulp.

“Stop being a baby. Just get another.”

“Yeah, right. Where the hell were you? There’s hardly anybody here. Did you get lost?”

“Something like that.” Addison answered. Her heart continued to race. She felt wild, jittery. The need to flee was overwhelming.  She didn’t want to do it alone.  Mark was safe, and this night needed to be over. “I need to get out of here. Can I crash at your place?”

Mark’s studied her astutely. “I guess. Are you okay?”

“Yes.” She avoided his eyes.

“Bullshit, but alright. Let’s go.”

**

Awake again, Addison tossed and turned despite the comfort of the spare bed. Giving up for the moment, she reached for her phone. It was a little past five in the morning. Scrolling through her contacts, she stopped at Callie’s name and sent out a text.

**_I know you guys have talked by now. Hurry the hell up._ **

A few seconds later, Addison received a reply.

**_Should your eagerness scare me?_ **

She smirked in spite of her unsettled state.

**_Do we need to talk?_**   Callie asked.

**_Maybe but later._** Addison answered.

**_Okay. Gonna hold u to that._ **

The doctor threw her phone to the empty side of the bed. Two days was enough. Addison categorically refused to be dragged into whatever maelstrom Grey was brewing. She laid back down, closing her eyes. If sleep wasn’t going to return, Addison was going to try to gain some peace.

****

 


	3. Chapter 3

Being unemployed may be straining my bank account slightly but at least someone is benefiting. Here is an update.  Back in NOLA and it is hot as the ninth circle of Hell. Anyway, don’t forget I’m fudging the medical jargon but there is a such thing as a molar pregnancy…honest! Look that shit up. Regardless, I hope you enjoy it. I do so love writing about Addison. I’m really enjoying Callie, Mark…hell and the rest of the cast too. I hope it shows. Thanks to MSonya. I’d like to think we continue to improve our craft through each other. Feedback even in the nasty form is always welcome.

* * *

 

 

“This is weird. I feel like I’m sixteen. Why didn’t I do all this from my hotel room?” Addison asked.

Callie chuckled. “Because you’re nervous.”

The red head peered at her friend through the mirror’s reflection. The hand applying her make up stopped and hung in the air. “What did you just say?”

Callie crossed her arms and continued to lean against the doorway. “I didn’t stutter.”

“I’m not nervous.”

A dark brow shot upward.

Addison sighed. Nausea rolled through her. Maybe she was…a little bit. She wanted this date to mean something even if it was a peculiar beginning. Addison grumbled.

“What was that?”

“Fuck you.” Addison responded.

“Nope. Very taken.”

“Is that going to be  your response every time I say that?”  Addison asked as she continued applying lipstick.

Callie shrugged and grinned. “I don’t know we’ll have to see. You look great by the way.”

Addison gave herself a quick once over. The little black dress accentuated and clung to all her best attributes. Her legs seemed to go on forever and her cleavage just on the other side of dangerous. She smirked. “I know.”

Callie snorted. “You’re such an arrogant ass.”

Addison continued to smile. “I know that too.”

“Mmm.”

The red head turned to her friend. “You know. You could just take a hiatus from Arizona and show me how it’s done.”

Callie beamed, and her eyes were alight with mischief. “If you don’t know how it’s done by now---“

“You know what I mean.” Addison interrupted. “We probably would have been great together.”

Callie huffed. “We would have killed each other within a week. Besides, I obviously have a thing for blondes.”

“True… on both counts.”  Addison smiled slowly. “I love how you don’t take offense at me hitting on you.”

“I’ve come to expect it…like the rain in Seattle.”

Addison laughed. “Arizona doesn’t mind?”

“Arizona doesn’t mind what?” The perky blonde asked as she eased up behind them.

“My flirting.” Addison offered helpfully.

The blonde’s dimples deepened as she grinned. “ I think it’s cute.”  Arizona and Callie glanced at each other, getting lost almost immediately. “I know she’s not going anywhere.”

Addison groaned. “Get that shit out of my face.” She murmured affectionately. “You guys are like an instant cavity.” Addison concluded that they were worse than Jane and Maura.

“Man, that sand in your vagina is really irritating you.” Callie countered and purposefully pulled Arizona closer, nuzzling into her neck.

Forgetting everything else except for the game they were playing, Addison purred, “It does itch a little. Watching you two may help ease the ache.” She stepped closer. Inadvertently, her tongue snaked out wetting her lips. Her hands slid over her own hips seductively. Addison’s stare was intense as she waited for their response.

Arizona blinked. Her mouth fell open slightly and her face was flushed. “Uhh---“

“Damn,” Callie muttered.

Addison smiled salaciously. “Was that a yes? We have time.” This, she knew how to do…shock and seduce. It made her feel at home. The nausea and the nerves had abated.

“You’re supposed to only use your powers for good.” Callie smirked. “Still nervous?”

Addison sputtered. “Fuck you!”

“I absolutely love that we come back around full circle.” The brunette laughed. “But I will take that as a no. You’ll do fine. It’s a clean slate remember? She’s new.”

Addison briefly turned back to the mirror, getting one last peek. “You say that but I’m sure she’s heard rumors about me by now.”

Callie shrugged. “So, prove her wrong. Vamp Addison doesn’t need to come out and play just yet.”

Arizona snorted. “And she plays _hard_.”

They both glared at the blonde.

Arizona cleared her throat. “Sorry.”

The doorbell rang. Her date was early.

Addison’s felt the jitters return but not as strong as before. In addition, she was proud of herself. She had gone several hours without thinking about Meredith Grey. That is…until now.

“Damn it.” She whispered. Her stomach fluttered with a completely different kind of feeling.  A feeling… she didn’t want or need.

“What?” Callie asked as Arizona left to go answer the door.

“Nothing. It’s…nothing.”

Callie’s eyes narrowed as she studied the red head astutely.  “Don’t mess this up Addie. You might really like her.”

“I know. I won’t.” Addison made a promise that she hoped she could keep.

**

Meredith was aware of Christina’s eyes on her as she beat the eggs into the bowl into submission. She ignored the gaze. “What did you want in your omelet again?”

Yang sighed. “Spinach and mushrooms.” She answered briskly. “For the third time.”

“Sorry. I’m just---“

“Not here at all? It’s me you don’t have to pretend that you are.”

Meredith sighed. She looked toward the table catching Cristina’s gaze. There was understanding in her eyes, but it was tempered by so much more. Meredith sat the bowl down on the counter and moved toward the table. She threw herself into the empty chair beside Christina.  “Say it. Just take the gloves off. You’ve coddled me enough.”

Yang huffed.  “I’m no expert on relationships. That’s no secret, but I am an expert on you. You should’ve talked to him before you turned down the position just like he should’ve talked to you…really talked. That’s always been a problem with you guys…things you don’t say.”

“Yeah,” Meredith agreed.

“He doesn’t _see_ you, Mer. I don’t think he ever has. You need that.”

Meredith nodded.

Yang continued. “Are you sure you want to hear this?”

In response, the blonde reached out, grasping her friend’s hand and squeezed.

“He doesn’t love you like you thought he did. With the way he’s been treating you, that’s obvious. I know he’s hurt, but it’s gone too far. Somehow he’s made it just about him.”

“I know.” Meredith whispered. “Maybe I didn’t love him as much either. All I feel right now is anger. If there was something else, wouldn’t I know?”

Christina shrugged. “I don’t know.” She paused. “Can you add onions and tarragon to mine?”

That was something Meredith could do. She grabbed the bowl and stood. Yang’s words floated around her and sank in slowly. “Can you get started on the salad?”

“No problem.”

Meredith ambled toward the stove. With the flick of her wrist, heat spread beneath the skillet. Simultaneously a hollow feeling pervaded her from the inside out.  “It’s over. Isn’t it?”

A few seconds passed before she received an answer.  “Probably.”  Yang murmured softly.

Meredith put a huge chunk of butter in the skillet. It sizzled and popped in protest while she felt almost nothing at all. “Can we talk about something else?”

“We can do that.” Christina sat the ingredients for a salad on the counter along with two beers. They worked in companionable silence for a few minutes. “Addison Montgomery.”

The bottom of Meredith’s stomach tightened. “What?”

“Tall? Red hair? Killer blue eyes and smile? That one.” Yang leaned against the counter and crossed her arms.

Wanting to divert the subject matter, Meredith stated, “That’s not really a subject change. They used to be married.”

“Nice try, but she is a completely different animal. You’ve been trying like hell to avoid her the past few days. You haven’t even said her name. Then, there was that thing at Joe’s.”

Meredith glared.

Christina shrugged. “You said gloves off. No more coddling. I assumed it to mean about everything.”

“Well---“

“Can’t take it back now. It’s in the air.” Yang scolded. “The way you two looked the other night. I wasn’t sure if one of you were going to start swinging or…” Her voice trailed off. Yang gasped. “Holy shit…or kissing each other senseless! That’s it. Isn’t it?” Dark eyes were wide, excited and confused.

Meredith added the beaten eggs to the skillet. Her hands shook as she poured.

“Meredith?”

The knots in her abdomen were fast becoming unbearable.

“Mer, look at me.”

Reluctantly, she did. “I don’t… have any answers for that either.”

“Oh my god.  Today is Sunday. She’s only been here a little over a week. How long has it been---“

“Since I kissed her.” Meredith added.

“Say what?”  Yang grasped her by the elbows, shaking her.

“Her first day…back at the hospital.”

“Oh my God.”  Christina mumbled.

“Can you stop saying that?”

“I’ve only said it twice.” Yang countered.

“Once was more than enough.”

“Well, it’s not every day my best friend goes around kissing women on the mouth.”

“It was not women. It was one woman.” Meredith stepped away.

“Is this some weird way to get back at---“  Yang asked.

“I already thought about that, but no, it isn’t.”

“Have you ever…kissed a woman before?”

“Girl.”

“What?” Yang asked.

“Susie Farmer in 6th grade. It didn’t count for much. It was a dare.”

“Did this one?”

“Yes…I liked it.” Meredith answered.

Yang’s eyes were the size of saucers. “Did she?”

Meredith recalled the sounds Addison made and the way they melted into each other. She swallowed, trying to lubricate a suddenly dry throat. “She did. It almost happened again at Joe’s.”

“Oh my God!”

Meredith gave Christina a pointed look.

“Sorry. So, what are you going to do?”

“Nothing? I don’t want things screwed up more than they already are.” 

“So you’re just going to ignore it? That’s not really like you.” Yang muttered.

It _wasn’t_ like her to be avoidant, but Addison, added to everything else that she was dealing with, was a bit much no matter how intrigued she was.  “Why not? That’s what she’s doing. It’s just some weird fluke anyway.” 

“Uh huh. Did it feel like one?”

Meredith didn’t answer. The heat taking over her body responded for her.

“Guess that answers that. By the way, my omelet is burning.”

“Damn it!”

**

Addison was trying her best to be attentive. She nodded and smiled at intervals. The doctor even added commentary as well as a joke here and there. Jennifer, her date, laughed at every one of them. It had been a chore so far to swallow down her normal responses and flirtations. Moreover, it was a pleasant discovery to find she could still be charming. It did nothing to retract from the fact that she was bored. There was no fire here. For Addison it was a prerequisite along with beauty, intelligence and a sense of humor.  Jennifer had everything else in spades.

Still, attraction was either there or it wasn’t.

It wasn’t.

Not like it was with---

The doctor derailed her thoughts by literally biting her tongue as she finished the last morsel of a rather bland tilapia. It didn’t help. Just a hint of Meredith Grey was enough. It meant nothing. That didn’t explain her pull toward the blonde.  The ache that Meredith produced was too familiar. It would flame out quickly and be no different from anyone else.

Her date stood, pulling Addison from inside her own head. The red head was actually glad for a reprieve even if it was only a bathroom break. Addison pulled out her cell intent on telling Callie it was a dud only to see a text message from Maura Isles waiting.

**Sorry we’ve been playing phone tag. It’s been a busy week. How are you?**

Addison quickly typed in a reply.  **I’m okay. On a date.**

**It must not be memorable if ur taking time from your sexual proclivities to text me.**

The doctor rolled her eyes.  **It is a DATE with food and everything.**

**Oh.**

**Addison got your tongue? Well…I used to…have your tongue I mean.**   The redhead  grinned. It felt good to let her normal personality emerge.

**I’m not going to answer that but my initial statement still stands. Things not going well?**

**It’s going but there’s nothing to get excited about.** Addison answered.

**Pity. So that means it won’t lead to lascivious activities.**

**I don’t want it to.** Addison countered.

**Really? How odd.**

**No, a dog playing the accordion is odd. I’m just trying…I don’t even know what to call it yet.**

**This isn’t with Meredith? She seemed to catch your attention while you were here.** Maura responded.

Addison rolled her eyes and growled. She typed vehemently. **NO and NO**. **Don’t even go there!**

Irritated, Addison glanced up and around, spotting Jennifer’s return. She added another message.  **Call you later. She’s coming back.**

**Okay. Please do.**

The doctor pasted on a smile as her date sat back down.

**

Meredith pulled the curtain around the bed in hopes of focusing the woman’s attention. It was the ER. She could block out the sights but not the sounds. It would have to do.  She closed the distance between them, getting as close to the bed as possible to offer a semblance of support.  Grey kept her voice low and calm. “I know you’re worried, but I need you to try to relax so I can get some information about your pregnancy.”

The woman continued to gasp for breath. “What else do you need to know?! I’m bleeding and my head is killing me!”

Grey nodded. “I know Barbara. We have to get to the bottom of this. Take some deep breaths. I’m here to help.”

“Okay…okay.” Her gaze remained frantic even as her breathing slowed.

“Good. Now, you’re barely showing.” Meredith added.

“I haven’t had a period in three months.”

“You don’t have a doctor listed on your paperwork.” Grey continued.

“I…haven’t been to one.  I got a test from the drug store, but I’m not ready for anybody to know.”

“So you haven’t been to the doctor at all? Am I correct?”

“Yes! I’m sorry just please help me!” The woman yelled. Her patience was gone. She grasped Grey’s arm, clawing into it.

“Dr. Grey is everything okay here?”

Meredith looked up to see Owen Hunt standing near the foot of the bed. “We’re getting there just asking some preliminary questions.”  She tried to unsuccessfully jerk her arm away. The woman had a good grip.

“That doesn’t explain why she seems to be assaulting you.”

“I’m bleeding, and she’s not helping me!” Barbara cried.

“We were short- handed in Obstetrics today. I was able to talk Dr. Montgomery into a rotation. I’ll give her a call.”  Hunt stated. It wasn’t a request.

On the outside, Meredith remained collected, but on the inside, something slick and hot slithered. “That would be great.”

Hunt nodded and walked away.

Grey sighed and put her concentration back into the matter at hand. “Okay, Barbara. I need my arm back so I can take your blood pressure and compare it to the one at triage since you’ve been here for a while. That could shed some light on the headaches.”

“R-really?”

“Yes, really. Even though you don’t have a history doesn’t mean it’s not an issue especially during pregnancy.”

Barbara retracted her claws, giving Meredith room to work.

She slid on the blood pressure cuff and pressed the button.  “So the headaches have been growing in intensity over the past couple weeks? No blurred vision or vomiting with them?”

“Uh, yes sometimes.” Barbara answered.

“Okay Grey what do we have?”

Reading the numbers on the machine gave Meredith a moment of reprieve. She needed her  doctor’s hat firmly in place to deal with Addison. Still, she found herself talking at the redhead instead, keeping her eyes firmly on the patient. “She’s well into the first trimester. Abnormally high blood pressure 150/105. Cramps, bleeding, and headache.”

“Blood work?” Addison asked crisply as she looked through the chart.

“A nurse took it earlier. It’s not back yet, but I put a rush on it.”

“Good.” Addison looked up from the chart. She smiled in Barbara’s direction. “I know this is upsetting, but we should know what’s going on soon.”

Grey swallowed as Barbara nodded. It was hard not to be charmed by that smile.

“Dr. Grey can I speak with you for a moment?”

Meredith groaned inwardly but stepped away from the bed anyway. They stood a respectable distance apart.

“I’m sure you already have something in mind. Let’s hear it.” Addison murmured.

For a few seconds, Meredith just stared waiting for Addison to meet her gaze. It didn’t happen. Grey’s stomach fluttered anyway. Her eyes fell to full lips.

“Am I speaking Swahili, Grey?”

Their gazes met briefly. Addison was the first to look away.

“It’s…it’s too early for preeclampsia, but I’m sure the blood work will confirm it.”

“Possibly but that means an underlying cause.”

“Agreed. With no medical history concerning the pregnancy, I think an ultrasound will show that this one is molar.”

Addison Montgomery features transformed yet again from taciturn to a pleased smirk. “Very good. She’s in her early twenties. So, it fits.” She purred. “You more than likely have the diagnosis in hand. What did you need me for? To stand watch so she wouldn’t attack you again?”

In response to the redhead’s playfulness and praise, Meredith’s heart beat accelerated considerably. “What? She’s just upset. Nothing I can’t handle.”

“Uh huh, the way Hunt tells it she was practically about to draw blood.”  Addison’s smirk widened into a smile.

“It’s so nice that me being in possible danger puts a smile on your face.”

“It’s the little things.”  Addison crossed her arms over her chest and looked supremely satisfied.

“You’re really enjoying this.” Meredith stated incredulously.

“Mmm.”

Meredith was finding that she liked the banter between them much more than being ignored and that in itself was telling. “Good to know.” She whispered.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

Quiet stretched between them as their gazes locked.

Meredith was wary of it, but still, she enjoyed the sudden warmth that spread inside her. Again, Addison was the first to look away. For some reason, it made Grey feel victorious.

“I’m sure I’m actually needed somewhere.”

Without so much as a parting sneer or smirk Addison was gone. Meredith watched her go. Part of her was relieved. However, the rest of her actually regretted the loss of interaction. This was quickly becoming an unmitigated mess.

**

Addison stabbed at her salad and murmured. “The Bahamas? Nice. He must really be something to get you to go on a vacation, Miranda.”

Bailey glanced over her shoulder and grinned. “Tuck loves him. He’s a beautiful man.” She muttered before turning back to the refrigerator in the attending on-call room, pulling out her lunch.

Addison raised a brow at Bailey as she sat down. “And?”

Bailey pursed full lips and rolled her eyes. “And yes, he has a beautiful penis.”

The red head’s mouth fell open as she roared with laughter. “Does everybody think I’m the sex police? And as far as penises go, I pretty much forgot what one looks like. I was actually asking how you felt about him.”

Even Bailey’s coffee colored complexion couldn’t hide her blush. “What about those fake ones?” She continued.

“You really want to go there?” Addison smirked.

“You’re right. Never mind. I said he’s a beautiful man. That’s it for now.”

“Okay, I’m not pushing just asking.”

“Huh, since when are you not pushing?”

“I’m just not. That’s it for now.”

Bailey chuckled. “Touché. I’ll catch up with you later. I’m going to go meet my beautiful man with the beautiful penis for lunch.”

Addison snorted and waved as the other doctor exited.

Less than a minute later, the door opened again. Addison glanced upward to see Yang and Grey enter. The conversation between them stopped.  The red head stiffened. She had done an excellent job of reducing their interactions. Addison was slipping. Twice in one day was too much.

Staying momentarily silent, she watched discreetly as Yang opened the refrigerator with Meredith standing beside her. Unable to help herself, Addison muttered. “It says attending on the door for a reason.”

“Our refrigerator hardly works. Plus, it’s much nicer in here.” Yang shot back as she handed Grey a bag with her name written on it.

“Mmm, there’s a reason for that too.” Addison sassed.

Meredith’s gaze shifted between them.

Yang sighed. “Look, you’re just visiting. So---“

A pager went off.

They all looked down.

“Shit, that’s me.” Christina whined. “And I’m starving.” She pulled out an apple. Yang took a bite, glancing at Addison then back at Meredith. A slow smile formed. “Don’t kill each other or…whatever.” She said as she left.

Addison’s anger formatted and spread quickly. She turned her gaze toward Meredith. The blonde looked contrite. It did nothing to temper her ire. Addison stood throwing the rest of her lunch in the trash and started to pace.

“What did you do?! Talk about me while you braided each other’s hair?! My name shouldn’t be anywhere in your conversations! You attacked me. There’s nothing funny about it!”

Meredith scoffed. “She wasn’t laughing at you. She was making light of the situation. Calm down.”

“You didn’t have to tell her about it.”

“She could tell something was…off.”

“Yes…you!”  Addison knew she was being harsh. She couldn’t seem to stop it.

“And you don’t think I know that?”  Grey paused and stepped closer. “That…doesn’t explain what happened at Joe’s.”

Something cold slid down Addison’s spine. By the time it got to the bottom, it was scorching hot. “What are you talking about?” She murmured.

“If Christina hadn’t interrupted, tell me you wouldn’t have had me pressed against the wall?” Meredith looked surprised by her own words, but she stood by them. Her gaze was unwavering as if daring Addison to refute it.

Needing some distance from the woman and the rawness of provoked imagery, Addison took a step back. Her breathing hitched. She remained quiet; hoping her lack of words would purge the moment.

“It’s why you’ve been avoiding me. It’s why I’ve been avoiding you too.”  Each statement seemed to propel Meredith forward. The distance between them lessened. “Look, I know this is fucked up. Even with everything going on with Derek, I can’t stop thinking about it.”

The bottom of Addison’s stomach twisted and fell to her feet, leaving behind a delicious bolt of arousal. She steeled herself against it. “I’m not doing this with you.”

The air between them crackled and hissed with electricity.

“I don’t even know what… _this_ is.” Meredith whispered heatedly. Boldly, she stepped forward. Their bodies brushed.

Addison’s hands clenched into fists. She willed herself to stay stationary against the onslaught. She refused to reach out but she refused to shy away as well. Meredith’s warmth beckoned. Addison remembered the way curves fit into her own. “It doesn’t matter.” She husked.

Meredith’s hand slid around Addison’s neck. Her thumb lingered, brushing against the curve of Addison’s cheek. The touch itself left a blazing trail. The blonde’s closeness and her heaving chest made encouraged Addison’s own loss of breath. Fingers tangled into the downy hairs at her nape, resulting in a shiver. Synapses began to misfire. “Stop.”  It fell from her lips as a whisper.

The door to the on call room opened. They jumped apart.

Mark Sloan entered and stared at them both. His eyes widened and he clapped his hands together. A grin formed. “Well , all riiight.”  He moved further into the room. “Love the tension. I could eat it with a spoon. Should I offer to come back in ten minutes? Maybe I’ll find something a little naughtier going on?”

Addison was somehow grateful and annoyed with him at the same time.

“It’s not what it—“ Grey started.

“Oh please. Don’t even go there.” Mark finished. “Tension…spoon.” He reiterated.

Meredith exhaled noisily. Her expression was determined but resigned.  “I need to go anyway.”

Addison swallowed and watched her go. This is what she had been looking for last night with Jennifer…the pull …the burgeoning desire. At the moment, those feelings were sorely misplaced and residing with Meredith Grey.

Mark bumped her with his shoulder. “You awake in there?”

“Shut up.” Addison growled.

Sloan chuckled. “That explains why she was staring the other night.”

“Shut. It.”

“I almost couldn’t breathe when I came in here. That’s some powerful stuff.” He continued.

Addison shoved him.

Mark grabbed his shoulder. “Ow. What? What did I say?”

Sinking into a nearby chair, she didn’t bother to answer. To say she was shaken would be a gross miscarriage of words.

 


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: I know it’s been forever…sigh. I’ve been blocked. I’m trying to break the old muse loose. Plus, Addison being the bitch that she is, wouldn’t leave me alone. So, here we are. I hope you enjoy it. To everyone who reads this and takes the time to leave a comment...you are a treasure. Thanks as always to MSonya, my beta, and the bane of my existence. Hate you much lol. I say that with love.

* * *

 

 

After dabbing at the errant drips of water from her face, Meredith wrapped the large towel around her body. She tucked the end under her arm and leaned over the sink. Meredith wiped the steam from the mirror and peered at her reflection.

There was no difference in her appearance. Stormy green eyes blinked back at her. There were faint lines around her mouth. Full lips pressed into a hard line suddenly making fine wrinkles in the area more prominent. Her skin remained pale, unblemished. However, fundamentally, something had been altered. While these changes didn’t manifest physically, Meredith noticed a shift buffered by acceptance.

Derek was a lost cause.

Actively, they worked together to ruin their relationship. It had been well over a month since he moved out.  At this point, conceding to their situation was indeed the key, but her resentment toward him continued.  Meredith thought he understood her. Above all, she thought she was respected. She thought she mattered. That was the most devastating. Love could not exist or flourish without these things of this Meredith was sure. She swallowed down the painful lump forming in her throat. It landed in her stomach, leaving the acrid taste of bile in her throat. Hurt lingered as did disappointment and sadness. She reached for her toothbrush, hoping to at least metaphorically wash the acrid taste from her mouth this whole thing had left behind.

Meredith’s thoughts strayed as she completed her morning ablutions. A tingle started low in her stomach as Addison Montgomery came to mind. She was unnerved by their escalating encounters. Judging by the look on Addison’s face, the red haired doctor was as well. Yet, each time the pull toward her seemed to grow, regardless of Addison’s vitriol and against Meredith’s better judgment. The fact remained that when the neonatal surgeon was in the vicinity every synapse in her nervous system took immediate notice. As a result, Meredith felt more alive than she had in a long time. This only served to confuse her more. It should have been impossible to feel any of it. Derek was still in her system. There should not have been room for anyone else. Her head screamed this as truth but the rest of her was recalcitrant, refusing to listen.

This…with Addison was base, lustful. There was nothing else it could be. Meredith barely knew the woman.  It had become a common refrain. She peered into the mirror once more. Addison intrigued her. She wanted to know more. She was alone. She could admit it. The woman was a conundrum. Addison’s baring was regal, sophisticated but she could swear like a sailor and spit enough venom to rival the most poisonous of snakes. Her wit sharp, deadly and as dry as a desert. The red head could also be the epitome of calm aloofness. However, there were, at times, displays of warmth and genuineness that only deepened the mystery. Meredith had seen it all for herself throughout the years even though it was never toward her. She sighed and shook her head. She had woolgathered long enough. Her shift was starting soon. She settled her thoughts on the work day ahead.

A little while later, Meredith slathered a piece of toast with Nutella before refilling her coffee. She leaned against the counter and stirred mindlessly. A throat cleared behind her. Meredith glanced over her shoulder. Owen Hunt looked back at her sheepishly.

“I was just getting coffee.”

Meredith blinked. “It’s your kitchen Owen. You don’t have to ask permission or give me warning.”

“Uh, Christina said not to bother you so I decided giving you a heads up wouldn’t be…you know bothering you.”

“Hmm, I’m always bothered these days. I don’t think there is anything you can do to add to it.”

Owen poured his coffee and continued to glance in her direction. “You’ll get through this. Look at what you’ve survived so far.” He leaned against the counter. Their shoulders brushed.

“I know. Thanks though.”

“You’re welcome. We have chairs and a table. Let’s use them, yeah?” He added.

Christina chose that time to enter the kitchen. She narrowed her eyes at them both. “Is he hovering? It looks like…” She glared at her husband. “Are you hovering?!”

Hunt threw his hands in the air. “No! I was just getting coffee and trying to get her to use the table. We are civilized you know.”

“So…yes you were hovering. If she wanted to sit at the table she would have been there already.” Christina intoned.

Meredith rolled her eyes. “He was being cordial.”

Yang peered at her for several seconds. “He gave you the speech?”

“Hey! I’m right here! I don’t give speeches.” Owen protested.

Yang stared.

“Well, outside the hospital.” Owen muttered.

“It was more of a pep talk.” Meredith murmured.

Christina groaned. “You’re stronger than this blah blah?”

Meredith shrugged. “Pretty much.” She gave Owen an apologetic look.

Owen sputtered. “I was just trying to help. She’s your best friend. That makes us friends by default. It’s what friends do…right?”

Yang’s annoyed stare turned into a smirk. “You’re cute, but no. Leave this to me. You just look pretty.” She patted her husband on the cheek and scratched his beard affectionately.

Owen grinned. “You’re a strange woman.”

“Yes I am.”

Meredith smiled at the exchange. When they were alone, she uttered, “You really do have him trained. I’m impressed.”

“They should give medals out for that.”  Yang paused. “Anyway. I was just thinking. Maybe you should bring some things from your house to put in your room here.”

Meredith snorted. “We can’t play sleepover forever. I used to be an independent woman.”

“You still are. You’re independently making the decision to stay here …or have me come stay with you.” Yang reached for Meredith’s unfinished toast, taking a bite.

The blonde chuckled. “Semantics.”

“Or, I have another idea.” Christina’s smile was blinding.

Meredith became instantaneously wary. “Okay.” She growled.

“Judging from the sparks that shoot off you and Addison, I’m sure she’d love to keep you company. Hell, you two have enough voltage to cause a blackout.”

Meredith sighed. “You know I didn’t tell you all of this so you could tease me about every ten minutes.”

“Too much? Do I need to make it every thirty?”  Yang bumped Meredith with her shoulder.

“I’m being serious.” Meredith eyed her.

“You think I’m not? Look, what’s the big deal? You deserve a little fun after everything that happened. If the word about Addison around the hospital is true, she’s lots… _lots_ of fun.”

“I’m no stranger to that, but I’m pretty sure she’s not on Team Grey.”

“I have two words for you…hate sex.”

“Are you like a pimp or something?” Meredith asked.

“I don’t remember money changing hands.”

“Friends aren’t supposed to encourage each other to do slutty things like this at our age.”  Something quivered and curled inside Meredith. Christina’s encouragement seeped into her. It was as if her body had been given permission. Her insides actually clenched. She took a deep breath to steady herself.

“Says who?!” Yang asked incredulously. “What? Are we decrepit now?”

“You know what I mean, and I can’t with Addison that would be dirty…and messy in so many ways. I can’t even name them.”

“No one needs to know.” Yang wiggled her eyebrows.

“You’re really trying to sell this. Why?”

For a few seconds, Yang just looked at her. “Some of it is for selfish reasons. You’re not yourself. It’s a long shot, but I figure she could help snap things back into place. Provide a little stress relief.”

“What? Am I broken?”

Christina didn’t answer.

“Yeah, I hear you loud and clear. It’s still not the best idea in the world.” Meredith paused. “Now, if I could just stop kissing her…

“Do you really want to?”

“No,” Meredith whispered. She hadn’t nearly had enough.

Yang laughed. “Aren’t you just a walking contradiction.”

It was the truth. That didn’t mean Meredith wanted to hear it. “I don’t like you very much right now.”

Yang pursed her lips and muttered. “I’m willing to deal with that.”

**

Addison stared at the surgery board behind the nursing station. It was a blur. Realizing she had been glaring into nothingness, she blinked to sharpen her focus. The nurse behind the desk gave her an odd look which was evidence enough that she had been standing there for some time. She peered down at the chart that she had come to fetch in the first place to avoid prying eyes and to bring herself back to reality as well.

She had not been herself the past few days. It had been a time of isolation and avoidance in an attempt to find some balance. Her seclusion wasn’t complete. Addison had taken phone calls, exhibited cordiality while at the hospital but had brushed off invites. It was just enough to waylay suspicion from those who actually knew her. Addison’s attempts to reestablish some perspective had not been fruitful in the least. During this brief sojourn, Addison had abandoned her dating efforts, and she had yet to figure out the situation with Meredith, leaving her even more confounded.

She felt a presence beside her and immediately her hackles rose. Derek Shepard didn’t acknowledge her at first. Addison did the same in kind. There was no love lost between them at this point. Once, he was  comfortable like her first scrub cap…the one with the stars on it. Then, she had lied, cheated, the ultimate betrayal. Addison accepted responsibility for her wrong doing long ago, but the bridge between them was almost impassable, making any interaction adversarial.

“You’ve been avoiding me.”

It wasn’t a question at all but a statement of fact. Addison peered at her ex-husband. He didn’t return her gaze. “No…that takes effort. I stopped putting effort into anything involving you a while back.”

Derek scoffed. “Is that how you want this to be?”

Addison shrugged. “There’s no other way for us to exist Derek. Why fake it?” She knew that she was being harsh, but Addison had to relieve her frustrations somewhere. He seemed like an appropriate patsy.

“You just don’t change do you?” He looked at her then. Derek appeared haggard. Nonetheless, he vibrated with antagonism.

Addison laughed. Despite her efforts, she was wondering if he was right. She pushed past the thought and concentrated on the conversation at hand. “Apparently, neither do you.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

Addison glanced around her noticing that the two nurses behind the desk were quiet and actually leaning in. She didn’t care. This…between them was old fodder. “I mean…as soon as Derek Shepard is disappointed by someone he’s supposed to love he turns into an asshole.”  A trickle of dread leaked into her chest. It was not what she had meant to say at all.

Derek let a bark of laughter escape. “What do you care?”

And that was the million dollar question. Addison was treading on ground that she had been vehemently trying to avoid…anything to do with Meredith Grey. “I’m not saying that I do. You started this.”

“I don’t have to justify myself to you.”

“No, you don’t, but that doesn’t mean you have to pull Meredith down in the gutter with you. So, you didn’t get what you wanted. Get over it. You two have to coexist in this hospital, and it’s not all that big. You may not like her as a person right now, but at least respect her as a professional. She’s Ellis Grey’s daughter… _Ellis Grey_. She isn’t your assistant. Given the right vehicle and enough time she could probably run circles around all of us.”

“Ahem.”

Abruptly, Addison turned to see a wide eyed Christina Yang.

“What the fuck? Why am I defending her?” Addison whispered softly. Fortunately, no one else heard. She had come to Seattle Grace intent on keeping herself out of other people’s confusion, and somehow inadvertently, Addison found herself sinking in deeper every day. This wasn’t just anybody’s mess. It was Meredith Grey’s.  She had no viable explanation for her transition to the Grey bandwagon especially since she had been protesting its existence not too long ago. Maybe this was a six degrees of separation type thing. After all, the only thing they had in common was Derek. Addison stalwartly ignored the voice in her head reminding her there was so much more.

Derek narrowed his eyes, looking at Addison to Yang and back again. He reached for the pager clipped to pants and frowned. His exasperation was obvious, signaled by the dip in his brow and thinning of his lips. “This isn’t over. You don’t get to say shit like that to me.”  He grumbled and walked away.

“Well…I couldn’t have said it better myself. Score one of the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants…or whatever.” Christina muttered.

Addison rolled her eyes and sighed. “Yang…”

The cardio surgeon beamed. “Yes?”

“Just…never mind.” There were a lot of things she could have said. Addison found that she just didn’t have the energy.  Christina wasn’t going to keep this to herself

“She’s hard not to like.”

Addison glared. “Don’t read too much into this.”  Despite her words to the contrary, Addison had developed a respect for Grey. She wasn’t sure, but it could have been there all along, buried.

 Yang glared right back. “Uh huh.”

Addison muttered to herself as Christina absconded.

To say that the red head was shocked by her actions was far from adequate. Addison turned away from the nursing station. She needed a drink actually craved one. Rounding the corner, she saw a familiar face. An idea formed. A very selfish idea. Flashing her best smile, Addison caught up to Jennifer.

The other woman grinned as she meandered by. Addison reached out grasping her by the elbow, making sure her touch lingered teasingly. “It’s a good thing I saw you. Saves me the phone call.”

Jennifer’s smile tightened. “Funny, I got the impression you were ducking me, but I guess it has been the required three days according to dating etiquette.”

Addison moved in closer sensing the imminent derailment of her plan. “You assume I go by the rules.” She could actually see Jennifer’s pupils dilate. “What are you doing this weekend?”

The nurse stepped back and chuckled. “You’re not interested in me. I could tell. So, let’s not force or fake it. Okay? I’ve got to get back to work.”

Addison watched yet another person leave. Irritation washed over her. She was tired of things just…happening to her. She had to make things the way she wanted them to be. It started with Meredith. Addison had allowed her to walk all over her, taking what she wanted. Nothing had been in hand since. Perhaps there were other ways to gain perspective. It was time for Addison to get back in the driver’s seat. She had been a passenger long enough. Since it started with Grey, maybe it would end with her as well.

**

“She is definitely on Team Grey.” Yang muttered with glee. They sat on the couch in the residents’ on call room. Christina leaned back against the arm and eased her legs over Meredith’s lap.

“Did you hit your head or something today?” Meredith asked.

“Did you not hear a word I said? She defended you to Derek! It was all angry and righteous. Probably would have turned me on…if I swung that way.”

They quieted as the door opened and Karev entered. He peered at them both. “What? Were you talking about me?”

“Every day… all the time.” Yang answered.

Alex snorted. “Whatever. Let me guess, this is some kind of girl thing?”

“ _Wo_ -men. We are _wo_ -men.” Grey added.

Alex rolled his eyes. “You better not have eaten my lunch.”

“It’s probably not any good if you put it in that refrigerator.”  Christina stated. They all looked at the appliance in question. It hummed rather loudly.

“Better this than tangling with the Attendings. Not worth the fight.” He commented.

“So…in other words, you’re scared.” Yang stated.

“That’s so not what I said. You know what forget it.” He walked the short distance and snatched the refrigerator door open. It groaned. “I don’t know why I bother with either of you.”

“Uh, because no one else likes you.” Meredith informed him.

Alex grumbled something and left.

“Well, that was easy. Now, where were we?”

“You were spewing some nonsense about Addison being my soul mate.” Meredith offered.

Yang stared. “I guess I need to start enunciating more clearly. I’m sure that’s not what I said.”

Meredith raised a brow. “Tomato…toma-to.”

“It really happened. The only thing that would have made it better is if she smacked him.”

Meredith laughed at the images that played. “Anyway, what was the point to all this?”

“The point is I think she likes you, and she’s all bitchy toward you because she does.”

“She’s not bitchy all the time.”

“You mean when you’re not tongue wrestling?”

Meredith groaned. “Yes, that’s exactly what I meant. I told you this morning that none of this was a good idea.” Despite her words, an inkling of hope ignited. She was aware that she was a mass of contradiction, but had no idea how to fix it. Each incident with Addison had been born in impulse. Honestly, Meredith had no idea how she would react they next time they met.

“Uh huh, you want to Mer. I can tell.”

“How?!” Meredith sounded affronted.

“You get this look every time her name is mentioned…like you’re a little bit lost.”

It was true. She wanted to get to know the prickly neo natal surgeon in as many ways as possible. Rewinding her thoughts, she relived the latest near miss between them. It had been electrifying. Her stomach knotted in response.

“See! That look right there!”

“I’m not over Derek.”

“Maybe she can help with that…inadvertently.”

Meredith tried again. “She’s a woman!”

“So! That doesn’t bother you at all.” Yang continued to push.

Right again. “I hate you.” Meredith countered.

Yang laughed.

**

Addison exited the bathroom. As she re-entered the attending on call room, she realized she wasn’t alone. Addison braced herself as she moved toward the familiar figure.

Calliope Torres sat on the back of the couch. Her arms were crossed over her chest, and a determined look was pasted on her countenance. “Thought I’d find you in here.”

Addison exhaled noisily. “So you did. What’s up?” She asked casually.

“Don’t take that tone with me.” Callie growled.

“What tone? All I did was ask—“

“Don’t bullshit me, Addie. You’ve been pretty much MIA for three days.  You’ve been dodging me. This hospital is in no way that big.”

“That’s what I said…” Addison mumbled.

“What?”

“Nothing.” She waved the comment away.  “I’m losing my mind. Ignore me.”

“Because I know you would _love_ that. So come off it. What’s going on?” Callie paused and studied her friend. “Did you end up fuc—“

“No…I didn’t.”

“Well, it couldn’t have been bad enough for you to go incognito.”

“I just…have a lot on my mind, okay?” Addison said.

“When don’t you?”

“Callie…” Addison said in warning. She was already aggravated, and being grilled by Callie was not high on her list of things to do.

“Again I’m not crazy about your tone. You know, if you actually share your feelings once in a while maybe your mind would be a little clearer.”

Addison glared.

Callie gave more in return. “Your tricks don’t work on me. Remember?”

Addison threw her hands up and muttered, “It didn’t go well…the date.”

“Why? Arizona thought she was---“

“There was no chemistry, alright?” Addison maintained eye contact for a few more seconds before looking away. “I don’t want to talk about it.”  She steered past Callie, heading toward the door.

Callie reached out, grabbing her elbow. “What is up with you?! It’s obvious—“

Addison turned quickly. The dam broke, flooding her with the emotions that she had been trying to keep at bay. Addison had no choice but to give voice to it all. “It’s Meredith Grey! That’s what’s up with me!”

Callie’s face scrunched in confusion. “What? You’re not making any sense.”

“None of this does…none of it makes sense at all.” Addison’s arms flailed. She was supposed to be reigning things in. Now, she felt more out of control than ever.

“Whoa…whoa calm down and just tell me what’s going on.” Callie’s touch softened and became nurturing, supportive.

Words fell from her lips eager to get out. “She…kissed me and fuck if nothing has been right since.”

Callie’s mouth opened. It worked soundlessly for a few seconds. She eyed Addison, looking at her like she had grown two additional heads. “Derek’s Meredith?”

“She’s not his!” Addison hissed. Her eyes widened. She cleared her throat. “You know what I mean.”

The orthopedic surgeon went silent once more. She studied Addison until it was starting to feel invasive.

“Will you stop that!” Addison cried.

“Did you fuc---“

“No!”

“But you want to?”

“No!” Addison repeated, but she could feel heat rushing to her face.

Callie tilted her head to the side. “I’m calling you on your bullshit again.”

“Leave it alone. Please.” Addison pleaded.

“She has you in knots.” Callie continued.

“I’m going. I have patients—“

“You’ve barely been here two weeks, and she has you in knots.” Callie glanced away, muttering slowly. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

Their eyes met, and Callie promptly roared with laughter.

Shocked. Addison could do nothing but watch. For a second, she was hurt. For a few more seconds, she was angry. Then, she didn’t know what to feel. However, Addison knew this much…she was dangerously close to violence.

Callie leaned forward, holding on to her. “I’m sorry…I’m not laughing… _at_ you.”

Addison bared her teeth in a semblance of a smile. “You’re a horrible person.”

“I knowww.” Callie agreed still full of mirth.

“You’re an ass.”

Callie nodded. “Yeahhh.” She began to fan herself and stomped her foot. “Okay…okay…I’m okay.”

“I’m happy. This is all about you after all.” Addison deadpanned.

“Stop!” She snickered. “You’re gonna get me started again.”

Addison literally could not help herself. Before she knew what was happening, she had punched Callie in the shoulder.  To keep from lashing out again, she crossed her arms over her chest.

“Ow!” Callie rubbed at supposedly tender flesh. “What—“

“Focus!” Addison ordered. “What’s so damn funny about this?”

Callie stared again. “You really don’t see it?”

“See what?!” Addison’s tone was becoming shrill.

“You’re running from Grey! It’s like…being chased by Thumper.”

This was not the reaction she was anticipating. Addison wanted Callie to be as indignant as she was, even as her own feelings about this was morphing into something entirely different. Suddenly, her annoyance reasserted itself. “Oh, fuck you,” Addison burred.

“You know my answer to that, but let’s stick to the subject. Is this why you didn’t have chemistry with Jennifer?”

Addison sighed. “I don’t know…maybe.”

“It’s not like you were ever monogamous. It shouldn’t have made a difference.”

“In theory,” Addison agreed.

Callie shrugged. “Since she’s not Derek’s…”

The red head glowered.

“Why aren’t you asking her out to see what it is?”

“Because I know what it is, and I don’t want that anymore, remember?”

“How do you know what it is?”

“It’s just attraction. I’ve given into it so many times. It’s fucking hollow.”

“When was the last time an ‘attraction’ bent you this out of shape?” Callie clawed at the air.

Addison glared. She had no answer or rather she didn’t want to furnish one at the moment. “And we’re done.” Her tone was pointed and left no room for argument. “I apologize for worrying you, but now, I’m leaving.”  Addison stepped toward the door.

“Addie…”

Callie was ignored.

“Addie c’mon.”

The words fell on deaf ears.

“You know I’m here for you.”                                                                                

Addison knew that was a given. Instead of acknowledging it, she shot her friend the finger.

“I love you too. I’ll be around when you’re really ready to talk about this.” Callie’s voice faded as Addison made her exit, but she heard every word.

*

Addison Montgomery was a woman on a mission. She was sure now more than ever that to exorcise her invading demons Grey had to be put in her place. Having memorized the board this morning, Addison knew that Meredith had switched with one of the other residents, putting her on Bailey’s service. That meant charting…lots of it.

Waiting until the nurse minding the station got off the phone, Addison asked. “Have you seen Grey?”

“No, you want me to page her?”

“No, it’s not a hospital emergency.” Addison stuck her hands in the pockets of her lab coat. She could feel imprint of her cell phone. Whisking it out, she promptly scrolled through the contacts and ignored the murmur in the back of her mind teasing her for saving Grey’s information in the first place.

**Where are u?**

It only took a few seconds for Meredith to reply. **In an office on the third floor. 303 I think. Y?**

Addison ignored the giddiness that invaded her chest when she realized Meredith had kept her phone number as well. It was silly and a whole lot of ridiculous. She immediately attempted to bury what she was feeling. **Stay put I’m coming down.**

 **?** Was Meredith’s reply.

Addison didn’t bother to answer.

When she rounded the corner toward her destination, Meredith stood outside the office talking with Richard Webber. Addison didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but as she moved closer, it was inevitable

“I know it’s been a while since all this happened. I still wanted to check on you. The whole thing was so public.”

“Isn’t everything concerning me?”

Richard chuckled. “Possibly. This is a stupid question, but how are you?”

Addison could sense Meredith’s tension…see it in the taut lines of her shoulders.

“I’m okay. Let’s…just leave it at that.” She answered.

“Fair enough. I won’t keep asking. You know I’m here if you need anything.”

Meredith nodded. Based on the way Grey handled herself, grudgingly, Addison had to admit that her respect for the other doctor went up a notch. It was hard to play it so close to the chest especially since she was the constant target of hospital gossip.

Webber smiled and nodded as well before walking away. He clapped Addison on the shoulder as he made his way down the hall. She squeezed his hand in greeting. The gesture didn’t calm her at all.

They stood less than a foot apart, staring at each other, but Addison could swear that Meredith was right there underneath her skin. Other doctors ambled past them, coming in and out of medical records and the adjoining offices. 

“You wanted to see me?” Meredith pulled the blanket of quiet from over their heads.

Addison murmured. “We need to get some things straight.”

Grey’s eyes darkened and seemed to look right through her. “Come in then. The room is the size of a closet…not the walk in kind.”

Addison scanned the hallway and followed Meredith inside, locking the door behind her to prevent any interruptions.

The blonde chuckled as she sat on the edge of the folding table already scattered with charts, leaving a few inches between them.

Addison put her back to the closest wall, striking and casual pose. Still, her temper flared. “Is there something you find funny?” She hissed.

Undeterred and not intimidated in the least, Meredith murmured, “No…it’s just with everything that’s happening and we’re literally in what could be categorized as a closet.“

“I fail to see the humor in this.” Addison countered.

Meredith smirked.

Addison wanted nothing more than to wipe it from her face, leaving something else in place. She remembered what Meredith looked like with kiss swollen lips and needy eyes. Addison’s stomach fluttered. She did her damnedest to ignore it.

“Thanks by the way.” Grey whispered. “Christina told me what you did. I don’t need it from you or anybody really but thanks anyway.”

“Of course she did. I wasn’t trying to protect your honor or anything.”

“Heaven forbid.” Meredith added sarcastically. “Wouldn’t want anyone to think you were kissing my ass.”

“Do you have to be so infuriating?!” This was not going the way Addison planned.

“I don’t know possibly? Do you?”  Meredith raised a brow and continued to maintain her gaze.

“Yes! I wouldn’t be me otherwise.”

“I get that.”

“You don’t know or get anything about me.” Addison countered.

“Yes, I do or I’m starting to. You leave an impression especially when we meet like this.” Meredith’s eyes seemed to drink her in. “And here we are having a normal conversation.”

“There’s nothing normal about this.”

“Maybe it’s going to be our normal then.”

“You’re deluded.” Addison muttered.

“And you like me.”

Addison laughed. It was a defense mechanism, and she was starting to understand that she needed to be on high alert around this woman.

Meredith chuckled as well. “That’s your come back?”

“Sometimes, I don’t need one.”

“You do today.” Meredith stated.

 “Oh really? Why is that?” Addison asked titillated despite herself. It was tantalizing knowing that someone else existed besides Callie and Jane who could stand toe to toe with her.

“Because you didn’t answer my question.”

“You didn’t ask one.” Addison reminded her.

“I’m saying this for the second time today, semantics.” Grey added.

“Then, let me say this for the second time today. You are deluded.”

Meredith leaned forward. “Believe me, I know it’s not a good idea to push this, but the world won’t implode if you admit that you like me.”

“There’s nothing I want to admit to except that I’m a natural red head.”  As the words slipped from her lips, Addison realized she should have kept them contained.

Meredith’s eyes widened. Her face flushed. “I supposed that’s good to know.” The blonde’s gaze intensified becoming heated and hungry.

Addison’s walls reasserted themselves with immediacy. “Don’t.”

“What?” Meredith whispered.

“You’re not stupid. What do you want from me?!” Addison’s ire had returned with a vengeance, and it was mostly internal.

“Look at that. You just gave me a compliment.” The blonde taunted.

Addison’s blood began to boil. It rushed through her hotly, filling her limbs and galvanizing them forward. She hovered over Meredith’s sitting form, standing between parted legs. “Answer the question.”

The heat building between them was staggering, searing the air. Addison’s heart beat accelerated, roaring in her ears. Their bodies brushed as Addison leaned forward. She rested her hands on the table beside Meredith’s hips. Their faces were a few scant inches apart. Green eyes were dark, challenging and greedy.

Meredith licked her lips. . It was a wanton and nervous gesture. Addison tracked the quick swipe with an intense gaze. It gave Addison the impression she was winning in this exchange.  Although, she had no idea what the prize was.

“Meredith,” she husked warningly.

Meredith’s lips parted, and her breathing hitched. Then, went ragged.

In a blatant show of dominance, Addison gripped the outside of Meredith’s thighs and yanked her forward. Meredith gasped. She clutched at Addison’s shoulders and held on. Reacting on instinct and just the proximity of this woman, Addison’s hips began to roll sensuously.

The sound that fell from Meredith’s lips sank into Addison’s belly. It transformed into a wet trickle as it dribbled lower. Addison whimpered helplessly. The friction was minimal but the act…the intent was mind blowing. Fingers dug into Addison’s shoulders. The pain was enough to bring her back from the brink, just barely. Still, she continued to dip into dangerous waters. Her mouth brushed against Meredith’s. Their lips clung, breathing the same air.

“Is this…what you wanted?” Addison purred.

Meredith moaned as Addison’s tongue slithered and teased.  Addison’s grip on the blonde’s hips tightened. Changing her stance, she arched forward pressing her thigh, firmly against Meredith’s crotch. The cadence of her thrusts increased abruptly.

Meredith cried out. Addison swallowed the sound and added gutturally, “For me to fuck you.”

“Yesss!” Meredith sobbed.

Their lips met violently… a clash of teeth and tongue. Addison needed this. She wanted this. She pushed Meredith further on top of the table. Charts hit the floor. There was a loud crack. Startled, Addison pulled back, but Meredith refused to let go. The air around them shifted as the floor raced up to meet them. They landed with a hard smack. The sensation was jarring, forcing the remaining breath from Addison’s lungs.  They lay on top of the broken table pressed together, legs entangled. Curves met, getting closer than they had ever been. If her intention was to put the blonde in her place, then she belonged underneath her. It certainly felt that way. She peered down at Grey. A million things vied for attention in Addison’s head, but she was focused on one.

Meredith’s lips were wet, swollen. Her pupils were completely dilated and chest heaving.  For a moment, they existed in stillness. The need expanded between them, steadily becoming overwhelming. Addison had never felt anything like it. Finally, Meredith buried her hand in red tresses returning them to a smoldering kiss. Searching for additional stimulation, her hips began to grind against Addison's leg once more. With blind but eager hands, she pushed the lab coat from Addison’s shoulders and clawed at her scrub top, seeking flesh. Addison wriggled, doing everything she could to help her.

There was a loud knock at the door.

Meredith whimpered. “Fuck… ignore it.”

That was Addison’s intention anyway.

The knock came again. This time it was stronger, more urgent.

“Addison! I know you’re in there!”

An angry Derek Shepherd was the last thing Addison expected at a time like this. She gulped and her heart beat tripled in cadence. When she looked at Meredith this time, her eyes were wide with disbelief and apprehension. In a flurry of movement, Addison untangled herself and stood.

“I meant what I said! We’re not done!” Derek bellowed. The door rattled as he fought with the knob.

“Oh my God. This can’t be happening.” Moving quickly Meredith got to her feet. Green eyes were glazed over. She looked completely and utterly lost. Instead of addressing the blonde, Addison peered around the room. It was in shambles. Charts were strewn everywhere and the table was beyond salvageable. The only thing that was untouched was the chair.

“Shit.” She muttered.

Addison looked down, taking in her own appearance. Her lab coat was missing and her scrubs were askew. She couldn’t even imagine what her hair and everything else looked like. She glanced at Grey and groaned. What they had been doing was written all over them.

“Shit!” She whispered again with vehemence. This was something she hadn’t really considered...Derek finding out about…whatever this was.

“God dammit open the fucking door,” He snarled menacingly.

 


	5. Chapter 5

Good evening all! Yesss it’s been a while. I needed some time off after finishing Blurred Lines to get my mind ready for this one. Thanks to all the awesome feedback for BL and for this story. I can’t begin to tell you how much it is appreciated. Now, on with the show. Enjoy…and feedback as well as questions are always welcome. Thanks as always to MSonya for not letting me be lazy. Big time italics denote flashbacks.

* * *

 

 

French doors opened as Addison walked onto the hotel balcony. Wispy grey clouds lingered in the sky, but the sun found a way through.  She leaned against the railing appreciating the beauty of the penthouse view. Addison peered down at the traffic. The streets were teeming with vehicles of all makes and models. The distant sounds of blaring horns and rumbling engines were carried lightly on the wind, leaving the area calm enough to still be appreciated.

The doctor had always treasured mornings, but recently, that routine had been interrupted, becoming a time when her mind was most active with retrospection. She was on top of the world, and Addison had never felt more alone. It should be a feeling that she was accustomed to. It followed her throughout childhood and crept into her teen years and beyond.  Children of wealthy families were either smothered or ignored. Addison was convinced that there was no in between. She had refused to become her parents’ prize to be paraded around at parties and other functions. Instead, when thrust into the limelight, Addison was loud, brash, and presented a brand of humor that often left the guests in shock and her parents wallowing in utter embarrassment. This persona became a form of protection strengthening over time, keeping everyone and everything at bay. The loneliness lingered wearing her down over time, leading her toward Maura and subsequently into an ill-advised marriage. Now, Addison could admit that she was far from impervious and that acceptance was breeding change.

Addison peered down into traffic once more. It had come to a standstill. Knowing that she had as well, the doctor smiled in grim acceptance. There were choices…obvious ones. She could take what Meredith offered and breathe freely again in the aftermath or Addison could stick to newly formed principles and possibly find some deeper meaning that had been missing all along.

Backing away from the edge, Addison reentered her suite. With a soft snick, she closed the doors and leaned against them. The choice should have been easy. Yet, it was not. There was a complication. Over the past couple of days, Addison had come to a conclusion.

Yang was right.

It was hard not to like Meredith Grey, and Addison was teetering on a thin line somewhere in between.

Addison was sure she had been correct in her assessment of Grey: arrogant, entitled, immature, weak and self-serving. Day by day, the doctor found more evidence to prove her wrong. Grey was no wilting flower. Each encounter with her had been a lesson learned. Then, there was the Derek situation. Addison snorted as she moved further into the room. To say that she was impressed wasn’t the correct term. She was closer to titillated.

Heading toward the bathroom, Addison slipped the silky robe and matching sleepwear from her shoulders and wished that she could discard her thoughts and memories that easily. Instead, they followed her as she stepped under the heated spray of the shower.

 

_Addison was better than this. Most of the time, it was easier to think when her back was against the wall. It was what made her a great surgeon. She had been in sticky situations before, but she pushed this one to the top of the list._

_Her mind remained blank. There was no way out of this one. “Damn Seattle Grace,” she whispered. Addison was sure this place was cursed. She smoothed the wrinkles from her scrubs and pushed her hair away from her face. The only way out was through that door._

_“Addison!” Derek bellowed._

_Her elbow was grasped from behind. Addison gasped and turned._

_“Just follow my lead.” Meredith murmured._

_Addison blinked. A few seconds ago, the woman looked almost catatonic._

_Grey shoved something in Addison’s direction. It took her a second to realize it was her lab coat._

_“Put it on. Hurry.”_

_Moving quickly Addison did as instructed._

_A smile teased Meredith’s lips._

_“This isn’t funny!” Addison hissed._

_“No it’s not but it’s the last thing I expected to happen today.”_

_“Like I did?” Addison countered._

_“Well, you were the one who texted me, remember?”_

_“That’s not the point!” Addison exclaimed._

_“Then what is?”_

_“I don’t know! I came here to find out…sort of.”_

_Meredith’s lips twitched again. “Well, you definitely found something.”_

_“I liked it better when you were rocking back and forth in the corner.”_

_“I just needed time to gather my thoughts.” Meredith murmured._

_“What is going on in there?!” There was another loud knock._

_Addison eyes widened. She had almost forgot that Derek was there._

_“What are we—“_

_“Just follow my lead.” Meredith whispered again. “And, I’m sorry.”_

_In the process of inquiring further, Addison’s head whipped to the side. Pain blossomed on her left cheek._

_“Shhhh!” Meredith ordered._

_Addison glared. “You just slapped me!”_

_“I said I was sorry.” Meredith muttered and turned away, walking toward the door._

_Derek’s face was red and blotchy with rage. He stepped in usurping the air remaining. “What’s going on? Why was the door locked?”  He glanced around the room before his gaze rested on Addison. “What the hell happened in here?!”_

_“It’s really none of your business, but we had to get some things out in the open.”  Meredith paused and mumbled, “It got heated.” As if embarrassed, she looked away._

_Addison didn’t have to fake her ire. “I don’t know why I bothered coming back here. Every single person here is completely screwed up!”_

_Derek’s eyes narrowed as he stared at the former women in his life. Confusion took over his features. “Wait…what?”_

_Addison pointed at her cheek, hoping it was as red as if felt. “She hit me! As if she has any right. I don’t care what happened between us. We were still married! Two wrongs doesn’t make things right.”_

_Derek’s mouth dropped open._

_“I refuse to let anyone else treat me like shit. I don’t care who they are!” Meredith added._

_He took a step back. His face cleared. “This is the most ridiculous…neither one of you want me!” Derek sputtered and shook his head before speaking again. “This is a hospital not some playground. You’re adults. Act like it! Make it work or I'm going to Hunt. Clean this mess up for God’s sake.” He pushed a hand through his hair, disturbing the usually perfect coif and muttered to himself before leaving completely._

_Exhaling loudly, Meredith closed the door behind him. “With the way he’s been acting, he’s such a hypocrite, but that was—“_

_“Something I never want to be a part of again.” Addison interrupted._

_“It worked didn’t it?”_

_Addison didn’t answer._

_“You’re not the tiniest bit impressed? It could have gotten ugly.” Meredith continued._

_“Mmm.”_

_“I’ll take that as acknowledgment.”_

_“You do that.” Addison snarked._

_Meredith’s grin returned, causing a strange mix of irritation and heat in Addison’s chest._

_“You’re not going to run?” Meredith asked teasingly._

_The woman had an abundance of nerve. Addison had to concede to that. It was refreshing. “What would be the point? It hasn’t helped so far.”_

_“So..?” Meredith moved forward._

_Addison held her ground. “So nothing. You continue to play whatever game you’re playing, and I go on with my life, regardless.”_

_The grin disappeared. “So nothing’s changed?”_

_Addison rolled her eyes and decided that she missed that damn smirk. “You have your acknowledgment. Be satisfied with that.”_

_The grin was lazy in its progression but it turned into a full fledge smile. “You like me.”_

_“No, I want you. There is a difference.”  Slowly, Addison made her way to the door. As she passed Meredith, she paused and murmured, “Liking you would be dangerous.”_

_Ignoring Meredith’s sharp gasp, Addison exited._

Irritated by her wayward thoughts, Addison exited the bathroom briskly in hopes of outrunning recent memories. She adjusted the towel around her head, and walked around the room naked gathering her things. Her phone chirped, but Addison made the conscious decision to ignore it. The sound continued before it bled into a different one altogether.

Addison sighed and reached toward the nightstand. After pressing a button, she brought the phone to her ear. “So…she’s making you do her dirty work?”

“That goes without saying.” Arizona muttered. “I-“ Her voice trailed off as she engaged in another conversation. The voices were muffled but recognizable.

“Tell her this is stupid.” Callie whispered.

“I know. I will.” Arizona added.

“Tell her now.”

“I was going to…if you give me _time_.” Arizona’s words were dripping with aggravation.

“Then stop talking to me and do it.” Callie ordered.

“Do you want to do this?!”

“She won’t answer my calls. The woman has some crazy sixth sense. She knows when it’s me. That’s why she answered just now.” Callie stated.

Arizona sighed.

Addison rolled her eyes. This was very close to amusing.

“Did you hear all that?" Arizona asked.

“I did.” Addison replied.

“Good, it’s been two days, and she’s been driving me crazy. It’s kind of weird. She’s usually a lot more stubborn and assertive about these things.”

 “I have that effect on people.” Addison offered.

“Obviously. Now, fix it.” Arizona added.

For a few seconds, there was silence on the other end. “This is stupid.”

“So you said.” Addison added.

“You’ve been avoiding me again…expert level.” Callie added.

“I have.”

“Look, again, I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to make light of the whole situation. It just caught me off guard.”

“I know that feeling well.” It was time to let it go. Addison knew when she needed a friend.

“Yeahhh, I get that.” Callie muttered.

“Callie?”

“Huh?”

“She’s not Thumper. She has teeth, claws and probably tentacles too.” Addison sat down on the bed and reached for the lotion, rubbing it into her palms.

There was a pause.

“You better not be fucking laughing at me.” Addison threatened.

“I’m not! Not even a chuckle. I promise. I was just trying to take it all in. So, what are you going to do?”

“My job. The rest I’ll deal with as it comes I suppose.” Addison began to slather her arms and legs with the scented cream.

“ _That’s_ your strategy?”

“Yes, why?” Addison asked.

“Tentacles can do unexpected things.”

A bark of laughter escaped. “I agree. Is that what happened to you?” Addison continued.

“Yep, and they get tighter every day.”

“That sounds painful.” Addison cringed.

“For some, but I’m breathing just fine.”

Addison groaned. “I can’t believe you just said that.”

Callie chuckled. “But I did.”

“Are you two really that perfect?”

Callie scoffed. “Hell, no. There are days I can’t stand to look at her.”

“The perkiness?”

“Yassss. She never turns it off.”

Addison laughed out loud.

“And she can be so self-righteous, but somehow at the end of the day we fit. I keep her feet on the ground, and she does the same for me.”

Something wriggled its way into Addison chest, squeezing. “Lovely.”

“Mmm. Isn’t that what you want?”

“I—yeah. Something like that, but I’m not going to find it in Grey.”

“How do you know?”

“Because, I’m not even sure if I like her.”

“Uh huh, me either but that’s a whole different story. How about this…you can’t get to know her if you don’t get to know her.”

“You just keep hitting it out of the park don’t you?”

“I try, but seriously. You know what I mean.”

“I do.”

“Good. I’ll see you at work.”

Addison ended the call and mulled over the past couple of days. She and Grey were far removed from their customary avoidance. They’d been cordial, professional, but when their eyes met, there was an underlying intensity between them that seemed to be growing. Getting to know Meredith Grey would do nothing but exacerbate the matter, and after their last encounter, Addison knew her resistance was waning.

_**_

Meredith dried her hands and smiled at Miranda Bailey as she utilized the sink next to her. Meredith had been focused and attentive in the operating theatre but now her thoughts were scattered.

“Grey!”

Startled by the sound of her own name, Meredith jumped.

“You didn’t hear a word I said did you?”

“Sorry, Bailey. What did I miss?”

Brown eyes peered at her for several seconds, studying her. Finally, Bailey huffed and muttered, “Well, I was giving you a compliment so you might want to pay attention next time.”  She sighed. “Look, you have reason to be distracted, but in there…” She pointed toward the operating room. “You’re staying on point.”

Meredith smiled. “That’s two compliments in one conversation.”

Bailey snorted. “I know. I’m slipping.” She paused. “Just…don’t let him drag you down in _anything_. Move on.”

The statement got Meredith’s attention. Heat rushed toward her face. She glanced at Bailey, wanting to know more. “Did Addison tell you—“

Confused, Miranda met her gaze. “Tell me what?”

“Nothing.” Meredith added quickly.

Bailey’s eyes narrowed. “Uh huh. I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that.” Then, she chuckled and turned toward the door. “The two of you would make this hospital explode.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“That’s not what your face said.” Bailey looked over her shoulder and grinned as she left.

Meredith blinked. When she entered the hallway, she was still in shock from the conversation.

“Mer?”

Grey turned toward the familiar voice.

“Bailey said I’d find you here. What’s up with the blank stare?”

“Just had the strangest discussion with Bailey…ever.” They walked toward the stairs instead of the elevator.

“Mmkay, about?”

Meredith peered at Christina. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

“Nuh uh, you’re not leaving me hanging.”

“I’m pretty sure she gave me and Addison her seal of approval.”

“Wait…what? How would she---“ Yang stopped as they turned the corner to the next flight of stairs.

“I told you it was weird, and I may have let something slip.”

Christina’s brows shot to her forehead. “Well…you have my vote so that makes two. All you need is Webber’s permission, and it’s a go.” She deadpanned.

Meredith glared. “I don’t know why I talk to you. I’m being serious.”

Yang sighed. “Okay, I’m sorry. You say one thing concerning her and then you end up doing the exact opposite.”

Throwing her hands up, Meredith exclaimed. “I know that!” Her voice echoed.

“I wasn’t trying to state the obvious.”

“Then what were you saying?”

“It’s just…aren’t you getting tired of the contradiction? Just do what you want. It’s obviously going to happen anyway.”  

They started walking again.

“You’d think that would be easy, but I don’t know…this thing with Addison, I don’t know what it is.”

“You’re over analyzing.”

“No, I’m not. You weren’t there the other day. There’s something—“

“There’s only one way to find out.”

Meredith didn’t respond. Her feet continued to move, and her thoughts continued to churn. She was indeed tired of the inconsistency. Her mind screamed one thing while her body did what it wanted. Maybe it was the possible fall out. Addison was Derek’s ex-wife, but Grey wasn’t a stranger to scandal. In fact, she had learned to live with it.  She was pretty sure that wasn’t something to be proud of.

“What is it? Holding me back, I mean?”

“I don’t know, but would you snap out of it. You’re entitled to have some fun.”

“Maybe.” Meredith stated hesitantly.   _Fun_ was the last way she would describe this situation…this ache.

“So, it’s more than that?”

“I don’t—“

“There’s only one way to find out.” Yang opened the door to the third floor.

Exasperated, Meredith muttered, “I’m not going repeat the same mistakes. Look what happened with Derek.”

“Then don’t repeat them. There’s only one---“

“Say it again and I swear I’ll hit you.”

Yang held a hand in supplication. “Fine, but you know I’m right.”

Needing some distance from this, Meredith rushed ahead, but Yang’s words trailed behind her.

*

A few minutes later, Meredith walked out onto the roof. The wind had picked up, whipping around her, but she didn’t mind the chill. She could smell the rain in the air and see it heavy in the clouds. Nevertheless, she reveled in the moment of isolation.

Her life had become a series of messes, starting with her mother…her family in general. It branched off from there, invading her romantic relationships as well. Grey was tired of picking up the pieces. They were getting to be way too many.  However, it would be a monumental lie to say she didn’t enjoy her time with Addison. As the wind swirled around her, Meredith admitted that she was a different version of herself when she clashed with the neo natal surgeon. A version she liked, but it didn’t last. Eventually, everything else filtered in. It didn’t keep her from wanting to relive it. Each time they met, Meredith reached out a little further. It was confusing. It was satisfying, and it was already becoming addictive.

Meredith knew, she was a fractured person. With Yang, she was at ease enough to acknowledge it because she had Christina’s acceptance. With Derek and everyone else, there was a tentativeness that  she couldn’t overcome, even though with him, she cared enough to at least try. She desperately wanted those parts to come together…to be whole. From what she knew of her and what she had experienced so far, Meredith was starting to suspect that Addison was the same way, and maybe that was why she was so drawn to her.

One of the industrial sized ventilation fans that littered the roof rumbled to life usurping some of the quiet, but it wasn’t enough to disturb.

“This is my spot.”

Meredith whirled around at the sound of the familiar voice. Addison Montgomery stood a few feet away with her hands tucked into the pockets of her lab coat.

Their eyes met and neither one of them moved.

Grey’s first instinct was to leave. She was too raw for this, but her feet refused to move. However, her mouth had no such compunction.

“It was mine long before that.”  It was a juvenile response. Unfortunately, there was no way to take it back.

Addison chuckled. Her eyes shined with amusement. “Maybe.” She paused. “You don’t seem the type to isolate.”

“Well, you’ve been wrong about me before.” Meredith reminded her.

An auburn brow rose. “True.”  Addison closed the distance between them.

Meredith shivered. She wasn’t sure why.

“You’re cold.” Addison took off her lab coat and handed it to Grey.

“I’m not. It’s just---“

“Just take it.” Addison insisted.

Reaching out, Meredith stopped half way suddenly unsure. “Why are you being nice to me?”

Addison glanced away. When her gaze returned, her eyes revealed nothing. “I don’t know.”

Meredith slid her arms into the material and knew immediately that it was a mistake. Addison’s scent wafted up to greet her, reminding her of what she wanted. She put it on anyway.

“I used to bring a chair up here, but someone kept stealing it. Was that you?” Addison asked.

“No, we’re not the only people in the world.” Meredith answered. In this moment, it certainly felt like it.

“It feels like it.”

Grey swallowed as her thoughts were voiced. It gave her a sense of the familiar....a second of safety.

Addison continued forward and did not stop until the stood side by side with only a few inches separating them. Meredith’s stomach clenched, but she continued to stare out at the skyline. She could feel Addison’s eyes on her.

The red haired doctor sighed. “What are we doing, Grey?”

The obvious answer was much easier to verbalize. “Nothing. Looking out at the Seattle skyline.”

Addison snorted then purred, “That’s not what we’re doing…that’s not what I want to do.”

Meredith suddenly forgot what breathing was.

“Where’s all that bravado?” Addison whispered.

“I don’t know.” Meredith answered softly.

“I like that bravado.”

This time when Meredith shivered, she knew why. She turned, meeting Addison’s gaze. It was soft, hesitant and somehow confused as well. Meredith released the breath she was holding. “I’m not playing games, Addison. I never was.”

“Mmm.” Addison responded.

Meredith’s pager keened, and it was almost immediately followed by Addison’s.

Distracted by the sound, Meredith fished it out of her pocket to see 911-ER blinking back at her. When, she glanced up again, Addison was already headed for the door.


	6. Chapter 6

 

Hello all! I’m hoping to update more often since this is the only story I’m working on… maybe every couple of weeks or so. This could be called a transitional chapter I suppose. Some may find it boring but it is necessary I promise you. Regardless, I hope you enjoy. Feedback and constructive criticism is always welcome. Thanks as always to all who take the time to leave a few lines of encouragement. You are appreciated in ways I can’t even begin to explain. To the lady who keeps me from being lazy my fabulous beta, MSonya. 

Big time italics for a couple of flashbacks.

* * *

 

 

Exhaustion seduced Addison, encouraging her to linger in bed. Pulling the comforter tighter around her, she settled into for an extended stay. The last thirty six hours had been draining both physically and emotionally.  She was entitled to a little break. After all, she was only consulting at Seattle Grace and wasn’t subject to the same constraints as other employees. Addison attempted to empty her thoughts, but her mind drifted toward Meredith Grey.  It had become a common practice these days. A sound exited her throat. The doctor wasn’t sure if it was frustration or acquiescence. Her cell phone rang, scattering her thoughts.

Recognizing the ring, she stretched toward the nightstand.  If it were anyone else, Addison would have ignored it. When she brought the phone closer, she realized it was a request for FaceTime. Without hesitation she accepted. Scooting up slightly, Addison smirked at the faces that peered back at her.

“I demand a more interesting view if you’re going to disturb my morning.”

Jane Rizzoli rolled her eyes.

Maura Isles admonished, “Addison.”

Addison smiled. “I wasn’t kidding. I put the two of you in bed together. I deserve it.”

“Huh.” Jane huffed. “Well, we’re in the parking garage at work so--”

“That gives me hope.” Addison interjected.

Ignoring the bait, Maura asked, “Are you alone?”

“Yessss, why?”

The couple glanced at each other and that’s when Addison realized her mistake. There were going to be questions…lots of them.

“Told you something wasn’t right!” Jane rasped.

“You know, I’m tired of people implying that I’m the Whore of Babylon.” Addison gave her friends a pointed look.

“I said no such thing, but we do know you. Are you alright, Addison?” Maura asked.

The woman in question pushed away the comforter and silently planned her escape. “I think I heard my pager.”

Jane snorted.

“We didn’t hear anything. Are you trying to avoid us…or the question?” Maura continued.

“Yes!” Addison answered vehemently. “To both.”

“Do away with the bullshit. We know something’s up with you.” Jane muttered.

“Look, I’m fine.” Addison looked away under the pretense of fluffing the pillows behind her. When she turned back, the skeptical looks on their faces further relayed their disbelief.

“Addison, please talk to us. The world is going to be the same afterward. I promise.”

Addison sighed. She had to give them something. “I swear to God, if you laugh—“

“Why would we laugh?” Maura interrupted, looking confounded.

“Oh, this has gotta be good.” Jane added.

“I’m just warning you.” Addison glared.

Maura’s eyes narrowed. “Does this have to do with your ‘dating’ or Meredith Grey?”

This was the drawback of letting people in to get familiar. They actually became _familiar._ It was odd, Naomi and Cooper had called several times since Addison arrived in Seattle and sensed absolutely nothing amiss. Their conversations had been mostly uneventful but at times amusing, centering mostly on their practice. Obviously, Callie, Jane and Maura had special privileges regarding Addison and were able to see deeper than most. So, at the last minute in an effort to divert, Addison pulled out the big guns. She smiled saucily. “Tell me Jane…have you figured it out yet?”

The detective eyed her warily and released a protracted sigh. “Figured out what?” Jane growled.

Jane’s expression gave Addison pause. There were a million things…a million uncomfortably sexual things that Addison could have said to create an awesome distraction, but it didn’t feel right. This was Maura and Jane. They deserved more than her habitual snark and patented insults. Maybe they needed to know how important they were.

Addison fidgeted and looked away. “That I miss you guys.” Her gaze returned almost immediately. She was bolstered by the words and the ease in which she said them. She needed them to see her sincerity.

Jane cleared her throat and cut her eyes toward the medical examiner. “Uh, what?”

“Of course you’re going to make me repeat it.” Addison answered softly. “I said… I miss you.”

Maura’s eyes widened. “That’s last thing I expected to hear.”

“Yeah, me too. Now, you’ve got me worried.” Jane added.

“So…Meredith Grey it is.” Maura murmured.

Addison sputtered. She was equal parts startled and impressed by Maura’s deduction. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. That’s quite a conclusion to jump to.”

“Not really. Considering how you were acting before you left in combination with _this…_ departure from character, it wasn’t difficult to surmise.”

“What’s this? There is no this. I can be nice occasionally.” Addison countered.

Jane’s gaze shifted back and forth between the other women.

“Cut the crap, Addison.” Maura continued.

Jane’s eyes widened. “Ohhh see what you did? Next thing you know she’ll be cursing.”

Realizing this was going nowhere, Addison exhaled noisily. “Okay! Okay god dammit. Fine!”

“So…wait. Who’s Meredith Grey?” Jane asked.

“She’s just a woman…a fellow doctor.” Addison answered.

The detective put it together almost immediately. She grinned and dark eyes twinkled. “Ah, _just_ a woman _._ ”

Addison rolled her eyes.

“My God talking to you is like pulling teeth sometimes.” Jane added. “Was that so hard?”

“Look who’s talking?!” Addison glared.

“I’ve gotten better.”  Jane nudged Maura. “Tell her I’ve gotten better.”

Maura smiled. “She’s better.”

“That’s…so good to know.” Addison’s words were dripping with sarcasm.

“Sooo…why isn’t she there?” Jane asked.

“What do you mean? Why would she be?”

“Uh because you’re you, and I’m sure you could charm the bark off a log.”

Addison chuckled at the imagery.  “It’s not your normal log, and it’s complicated.”

“Huh.” Jane’s smirk was back.

“What?”

“You actually like her. That’s what all of this is about isn’t it?”

“I told you it was complicated.”

“Yeah, right.” Jane paused. “Shit, hold on a second.” She reached in her pocket and pulled out her phone, peering at it. “I guess you can consider yourself saved by the bell.”

As she spoke into the other cell phone, Jane turned away. “We’re coming.”

“This isn’t over, Addison.” Maura warned.

“Yeah, what she said.”  Jane added. “But one more thing.”

“Yes?”

“We miss you too.” The detective stated.

As warmth settled over her, Addison smiled. Jane returned it before ending the call.

Abandoning her efforts to rest, Addison got out of bed as hunger beckoned. She reached for the bedside phone intent on room service. A few minutes later, Addison sifted through her wardrobe, pulling out grey pinstripe slacks and other matching attire. For some reason, when she turned, she paused and gazed around the bedroom, taking in the clean but decidedly sterile environment that was lacking individual personalization…lacking roots. Consultation had been part of her career for a long time now, creating a nomadic lifestyle.  Addison had become used to it. The road was a second home, and she realized that it was a contributing factor to her current predicament.

Habitual emptiness crept its way into her chest. She sat on the edge of the bed as epiphany continued to wring her dry. Even though it didn’t make a lot of sense, the only time the loneliness didn’t intrude was when she was with Meredith Grey. Addison stood abruptly, rejecting the notion and passing it off as a product of fatigue.  However, she couldn’t deny that her respect for Grey had soared after what she’d witnessed at the hospital.

_Addison was dead on her feet. She’d forgotten how Seattle Grace was a magnet for disaster. A gas line exploded at a construction site, but thankfully the injured had stopped coming in hours ago. Some of the victims were lucky and some were not. She pulled the surgical cap off her head and shuffled down the hallway intent on finding coffee. A peculiar sight caught her attention. A group of residents chattered excitedly as they made their way down the hall toward one of the OR viewing rooms. Curiosity was the byproduct of being a surgeon, and as a result, Addison called out, “What’s happening on the playground that’s got you kids so excited?”_

_The nearest resident glared before answering. “One of the accident victims was impaled by a piece of metal debris. It went straight through, damaging his spinal cord, and it’s close to his heart which turned out to be enlarged anyway. They didn’t think there was a way to remove the metal without causing more damage to it, but Grey came up with this idea to chemically stop his heart long enough to remove the debris. It’s brilliant when you think about it, risky too. If the muscle isn’t contracting and expanding the chances for injury lessens. Yang and Bailey are in there with her.”_

_A fellow resident tugged on his arm._

_“C’mon we’re missing it!”_

_Before the rest of her body could protest, Addison found herself right behind them. She nodded at familiar faces. Instead of sitting, she stood, peering down into the operating theatre. Grey’s voice carried. Her tone was crisp, succinct as she gave the order to stop the man’s heart._

_Bailey nodded. “This could work. Let’s just hope Yang’s can do her thing.”_

_They worked meticulously. Three sets of hands moved independently, performing a delicate dance._

_It seemed like hours later when Bailey muttered. “Let’s close him. Good work Grey…Yang. He has a chance now if we can stave off infection and PE.”_

_Other people began to stand, gradually filing out the door. Addison straggled behind. She was impressed by what she’d seen. She knew of Grey’s skills. She had even seen them first hand. Meredith had always been confident but not at this level. She had been steady, fierce, displaying a willingness to take risks that could have easily backfired._

_Obviously distracted by the mass exodus, Meredith glanced upward. For a few seconds, their eyes met._

_Meredith’s gaze was penetrating. Addison felt exposed, but she refused to look away. Everything else disappeared, swallowed by the intensity between them. It was Yang who disturbed the moment, offering information on the man’s cardiac issues. Slowly, Addison moved away from the glass. Taking a breath to steady herself, she exited into the hallway._

The knock on the door interrupted Addison’s thoughts.

“Room service, Ms. Montgomery.”

She stood and moved stiffly toward the door. Addison smiled and nodded as the waiter wheeled in the cart and revealed her breakfast, scrambled eggs and freshly cut fruit. She tipped generously and put the  lids back on the plates as soon as he left. Her appetite had abandoned her. Addison poured a cup of coffee instead.

She stood in the middle of her suite, sipping coffee and drowning in contemplation. The last time Addison had been this out of sorts it had been at the beginning of a burgeoning crush on Maura Isles.

That hadn’t turned out so well.

She tried to swallow down her apprehension as she finished her first cup.

Meredith Grey certainly wasn’t Maura. She knew better than to compare the two. Addison was older and wiser. Maura’s interest had been subdued, fleeting and tantamount to nothing but smoke and mirrors. However, after their initial altercation, Grey had been bold and increasingly acute in her resolve.

Addison had no idea where any of this was going, but to even hint at disinterest would be a lie.

**

As Meredith finished the glass of milk, she snapped the book in front of her closed. In her spare time, which was sparse at best, she read voraciously and continued to learn. Sometimes it actually paid off just like it did a couple days before. It had been a while since she’d been able to browse and study, and it had been even longer since she’d been alone, making her revel in both.

For the first time in almost two months, Meredith had spent the night without Christina Yang. It had taken some convincing, but it was for the best. She wasn’t a child. This was her life and she was the one who had to deal with the consequences of her own decisions no matter how suspect they seemed. Her thoughts vacillated from Derek to Addison and back again.

The pain Derek left behind was starting to wane. It made it easier to look back at their relationship. Today, was usually their day off. Sometimes they stayed in bed. Sometimes they laughed. Sometimes they talked, and sometimes they did all three. It was hard to equate the man she knew today with the one she remembered.

It was over. That was obvious. Still, it felt unsettled…unfinished. Maybe it was just because she needed answers or maybe she just needed to get a few things off her chest. Maybe she just needed to completely close the door on him before she opened it to someone else.

Addison Montgomery.

Meredith pulled back a little. She was jumping way too far ahead. A few kisses, heated stares, and a couple of conversations didn’t equal forever. Even though it made right now interesting.

_“That’s not what I want to do.”_

Addison’s words were stuck in her head. Meredith’s stomach twisted and knotted in response. This unidentifiable thing between them grew with each meeting, each look…each word. To make matters even more noteworthy, the people she worked with were starting to notice. The day of the construction site accident was a prime example.

_The elevator door closed slowly long enough for their eyes to lock once more. Addison’s gaze was penetrating, encompassing her from head to toe. An eyebrow arched upward as it lingered on Meredith’s chest. Her skin prickled and nipples hardened in response, providing an example of the increasing ardor between them. Then, Addison was gone but all it took was the push of a button to instigate her return. Meredith closed her eyes and let the temptation pass. There was no way they could be in a confined space together without touching. Meredith knew it. She could see the knowledge in Addison’s eyes as well._

_Choosing to focus on the impending emergency, Meredith decided to take the stairs and catch the elevator somewhere in between. It would give her time to calm her nerves and hopefully, gain more perspective. By the time she reached the fifth floor, her pager had buzzed again. Anticipation grabbed hold. There had to be something huge going on in the ER. As she rounded the corner to yet another flight of stairs, Meredith glanced through the tiny window in the door to see the elevator opening for a waiting crowd.  Meredith joined them. She pushed her way through the back to see a couple of familiar faces. Callie and Arizona glanced in her direction. Their faces were grim._

_“Do you know what’s going on?” Meredith whispered to keep from starting a panic. The space was too small._

_“News said gas explosion at a construction site.” Arizona answered in the same hushed voice._

_“How many do we have coming in?”_

_“Probably a majority of them.” Callie offered. Her expression changed abruptly as she continued to study Meredith. Amusement twinkled in her eyes. “Good to have you aboard, Dr. Montgomery.”_

_Meredith blinked. “What?”_

_Callie snorted. “That’s what your coat says.”_

_Heat crept its way to Meredith’s face and she realized that Addison had been aware the whole time. Irritation washed over her but it was tempered by amusement. “Oh, it’s not—“_

_“Please don’t even go there.” Callie grinned. “She obviously wasn’t kidding about the tentacles.”_

_“Huh?” Meredith asked completely confused by the statement._

_Arizona nudged Callie. “Behave.”_

_“What? That was me behaving.” Callie countered. She turned back to Meredith. “Ask Addie, I’m sure she’d be happy to explain.”_

_Arizona sighed._

_Callie threw her hands up. “Fine! I’m being good.”_

_Meredith glared at them both. Thankfully, the elevator opened. They shuffled out into ER and headed to the ambulance bay, grabbing gear along the way._

_Meredith found her spot near Yang and tried to resist looking Addison’s way._

_“What took you so long?” Yang asked._

_“I was on the roof.” Meredith responded._

_“Ohhh. You okay?”_

_Meredith nodded._

_Christina’s eyes narrowed as they studied her._

_Meredith sighed and waited. She didn’t have to wait long._

_Yang’s sudden laugh was short but piercing. Momentarily, heads turned their way before the distant wail of the first ambulance brought the remaining doctors back to attention._

_Christina continued to grin. She grabbed Owen’s elbow and whispered in his ear. Apparently, this was too good not to share._

_Meredith rolled her eyes. She knew she should have removed the lab coat but had to admit that it was the fact that Addison had given it freely, without insult and the scent that continued to surrounded her that brokered her refusal._

_The Chief’s gaze wandered from her face to the name stitched on the lab coat. It could still be seen through the protective gear. His forehead crinkled and bushy auburn brows lowered into a perfect ‘V’. He bit his lip to keep from smiling. Owen winked instead._

_The sirens were much closer._

_“Okay people. Here we go!” Hunt shouted._

She couldn’t help smiling as she recalled their reactions. Regardless, the situation with Derek still lingered. Meredith’s attention couldn’t be fractured even if it was a small distraction. She had the feeling that she needed all her faculties alert and intact with Addison. She didn’t want to miss a thing.

Meredith stood. She put her glass in the sink. It clinked against the other dishes piled there. Karev had been lax lately with his housekeeping skills. She couldn’t imagine what it looked like upstairs. Shaking off inconsequential thoughts, Meredith grabbed her keys and cellphone.

**

Parking near a copse of trees, Meredith turned off the engine and peered through the windshield. Derek’s jeep was next to his trailer. It was a surprise since all he had been doing was working as of late. Meredith gripped the steering wheel and gathered herself. She hadn’t rehearsed a speech on the way over. She didn’t have a list of questions or a planned confession about Addison. This wasn’t about who she wanted. This was about where she’d been and the damage it caused. In short, Meredith was going to have to wing it, and depending on Derek’s mood, the situation could spiral quickly.

Meredith got out of the car. The door to the trailer was open. She was on the second step before she called out his name.

There was a loud thump.

She stopped and waited nervously, resisting the need to fidget. A few seconds later, Derek appeared in the doorway. His eyes were unreadable as he pulled a shirt over his naked torso. All the movement mussed his hair, leaving it to fall over his forehead. Derek didn’t invite her in. He didn’t offer a greeting. He watched her quietly, but he didn’t slam the door in her face. This was progress.

“I took the chance that you hadn’t changed your scheduled day off.” Meredith met his gaze. She didn’t falter. There was no need to.

Derek cleared his throat and looked away. “What do you want, Meredith?”

She decided to get right to the point. “We’re over.”

He nodded. “Yeah, I do believe we are. I’m pretty sure you knew that. Why beat a dead horse?”

“I knew…I did, but I think I needed us to actually talk about instead of scream at each other. I mean that’s all we’ve been doing. I’m glad to see this conversation didn’t start out that way.”

 He said nothing in response. A muscle ticked in his jaw signifying some unvoiced emotion…impatience or aggravation Meredith wasn’t sure.

“We messed up.” Meredith shoved her hands in the front pockets of her jeans. Still feeling anxious, she crossed her arms over her chest instead in a self-soothing gesture.

Derek huffed and glared. “Why do we need to rehash this?”

“Closure, I guess. I don’t want to spend forever resenting you. Are you ready to admit that it wasn’t all my doing?”

“What does it matter at this point?” His expression hardened.

“I’m going to consider that a rhetorical question.” Meredith answered softly. She didn’t want this to turn into an argument. There had certainly been enough of those.

“Whatever.”

Meredith took a deep breath through her nose. “When I was a little girl, I didn’t dream about getting married or having kids. I didn’t play house with Barbie. I had my mother’s stethoscope, and I was trying to sound out the big words in her medical journals.”

His gaze went form flat, emotionless to curious.

“Medicine was my dream, Derek.”

“I think I knew that.”

She paused because what she had to say next was going to hurt. “You put your medicine first and expected me to put mine on the backburner. You didn’t have the right.”

Derek’s face reddened. “All you had to do was talk to me!”

Meredith shook her head. “We stopped listening to each other way before this happened and before I knew it, so much…too much had changed.”

He glared at her. Tension rolled off him, stifling the air around them. “I loved you. I knew we were a little lost, but I never thought we’d end up here.”

“Me either, but it’s like you’re not even the same person---“

“What you did…it felt like a betrayal. I’m trying to make my peace with it, but it hurt Meredith. It fucking hurt. You were the last person I expected to do something like that. We may not live together or see each other every day, but as soon as I walk into that hospital. I’m reminded, and I have to protect my—“

“Yeah, I think I get it.” Meredith interrupted.

Suddenly, he looked utterly exhausted. “Look, I don’t want to do this anymore. At least, not right now.”

Meredith nodded and stepped backward. She turned and walked the rest of the way down the stairs. Glancing over her shoulder, she watched as the door closed. It felt final, and she was relieved. Meredith stood there for a few moments, enjoying the quiet of the forest and saying goodbye to what could have been. Then, she went to her car.

*

The day crawled after that point. Meredith continued reading and found herself doing dishes and chipping away at the mess Alex had created upstairs to no effect. It was barely past four and in spite of Meredith’s level of activity, Addison Montgomery had been constantly on her mind.

Meredith’s phone beeped informing her of a text.

**You busy? I’m finally free.** It was from Christina.

**LOL no I should have just come in. Bored to death.** Meredith responded.

**I’m gonna call you then.**

Meredith answered immediately.

“Well, there wasn’t really any excitement here. Construction guy is doing as well as he can with his undiagnosed heart disease.”

**“** I’m sure I could have found something to get into.” Meredith added.

“Doubtful…that something left after being here for a few hours.” Christina murmured teasingly.

“I wasn’t talking about her.”

“I thought it was implied. After all, you’re wearing each other’s clothes now.” Yang continued.

“Never going to live that down.”

“Nope not unless you’re caught doing something more interesting.”

There was a flutter in Meredith’s stomach. “Let’s not go there right now. I did get something accomplished today. Got some reading done and I went to go see Derek.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah.” Meredith answered.

“What the hell for?”

“I just…needed to say some things and have him actually listen. I think he did. It felt final. I needed that.”

“That settled it for you? You’re okay?” Christina asked.

“Yes, I really think I am or I’m going to be.”

“Huh. So…no more sleepovers?”

“No. No more sleepovers. I’m sure Owen will be glad to have you back on a full time basis.”

“Probably but he would never complain anyway. You know how he---“ Christina’s voice trailed, but Meredith could hear the sound of a pager. “Damn, I’ve got to go. Something’s going on with one of my patients. I left a second year to watch him.”

“Okay, call me later.”

Yang hung up instead of responding.

Meredith peered at her cell phone. The temptation crept over her slowly. Addison wasn’t at the hospital. They could talk and foster this strange truce between them. They could… Going with the impulse, Meredith made the call.

It was answered after four rings.

“Hello?” Addison’s voice was throaty and deep from obvious sleep.

“I woke you.”

Addison cleared her throat and chuckled. “You did. Seems like the goal today is for everyone to keep me from resting.”

“If it’s any consolation, I expected you not to answer or to hang up in my face.”

“That would have been an option a couple weeks ago.” Addison admitted.

Meredith sucked in a surprised breath. “You’re not subtle are you?”

“Not really, no. Why are you calling, Meredith?”

“I just wanted to check to see if you got your lab coat. I haven’t seen you---“

“I did, thank you, but you can do better than that.” Addison interrupted.

“Maybe I like to be more subtle.” Meredith countered.

Addison laughed. “Not with me.”

Meredith was stimulated by the banter and did what she could to foster its continuation. “Imagine that. Anyway, you know people noticed that I wasn’t you.”

“Imagine that.” Addison sassed, but her playful tone revealed her own enjoyment.

“There’s going to be talk.”

“Do you care?” Addison asked.

“No, I don’t.”

“What about Derek?” Addison continued. The question was provocative. It hung in the air.

“This isn’t about him.”  Meredith felt like she had to make that clear, and after earlier today, it was easy to do so.

“Mmm, then why bring any of it up?” Addison challenged.

“Filler.” Even though she was titillated by the conversation, Meredith knew at this point stating the truth would be even more tantalizing.

“At least you’re admitting it now. So can we get to the point? What do you want?”

The question was asked nicely, but it was still loaded and ready to cause a fire. Meredith walked right into it. “It’s Seattle…so coffee?” She asked breathlessly.

There was silence on the other end.

“Why?”

“You know why.” Meredith responded, leaving it up to Addison to make the next move.

“I’m at The Ritz. Meet me at the downstairs café in thirty minutes.”

**

For some reason, it only took Addison fifteen minutes to make herself presentable. The waiter poured Perrier into a class. She nodded at him and smiled, but her mind was elsewhere. She wanted to observe Meredith’s entrance. She wanted to know if the blonde was going to be besieged by nerves or anticipation because Addison was a combination of both. Nevertheless, Meredith didn’t shy away from her, and Addison was enjoying that fact immensely. The woman was a challenge, leaving Addison to wonder if she was up to the task.

Minutes later, Addison got her wish. Dressed casually, Meredith moved toward her projecting cool confidence. Her gaze held heat and the anticipation Addison was looking for. Meredith took a seat across from Addison.

They studied each other quietly.

Meredith’s lips curled on the end. “You were early.”

Addison shrugged and brought the glass to her lips.

“Why?” Meredith asked.

Addison glanced at her over the rim of her glass. She took a sip and set it back on the table. She flashed a smile. “Because I was.” There was only so much she was willing to reveal.

“I see.” Meredith offered a quiet thanks to the waiter as he filled her water glass. She picked up a menu.

“Since we haven’t had the chance to talk, I think this is a good time to tell you that you made a very gutsy move in surgery the other day. It was impressive. I know it may sound strange coming from me.”

Meredith’s eyes widened. “Well… that’s the last thing I expected you to say.”

“Funny. That’s the second time I’ve heard that today. I must be growing.” Addison couldn’t keep the sarcasm from her voice.

“No…what I meant was that it means a lot coming from someone like you.”

“Someone like me?” Addison leaned forward waiting for Meredith’s answer and the continuation of witty repartee that she had come to expect.

“Someone…who doesn’t give compliments often.”

“You don’t know me, Meredith.” Addison was amused.

Meredith placed the menu back on the table. Their eyes met, and her gaze shifted into something softer. “I know enough to start with.” She murmured.

A tingle started low in Addison’s stomach and pushed its way outward. For the first time in a very long while, she wanted to share. “What do you know?”

Meredith smiled. “You’re strong willed, loyal and brutally honest. You have this prickly…refined exterior that I’m sure has been cultivated over the years, but there’s something inside otherwise people like Mark and Callie wouldn’t speak so highly of you.” She paused to take a sip of water. “And, I don’t know how you do it. Somehow, you go from intense to down to earth in the same conversation.” Meredith took another sip. “How’s that?”

The tingle became a wave of warmth. It was frightening and refreshing at the same time. She was shaken by Meredith’s words and her astuteness. Addison was tempted to hide that fact, but it was fleeting. “Not bad.” She whispered.

Distracted, Addison didn’t realize the waiter had returned until he was standing right next to her. “A few more minutes please.” She informed him. He nodded and walked away.

Meredith continued gently. “I want to know more.”

The air heated and crackled between them.

Feeling a little more exposed than she liked, Addison leaned back, creating some physical distance between them. This dance they were engaged in usually led somewhere for a night or two and that reality she didn’t want to revisit. “I know what you want.” Her tone hardened.

Instead of being offended, Meredith grinned. For Addison, it was a little unsettling.

“I think it’s obvious I want _that,_ and if that was all this was, we’d be doing it already.”

Addison blinked. “Oh, really?” She was at once exasperated and intrigued by Meredith’s audacity.

“Really.”

Addison smiled, but there was no way it could misconstrued as amusement. “Let me tell you something about me. I’m not easily manipulated. I control what I do.”

Refusing to shy away, Meredith murmured, “Are you done?”

Addison said nothing in response. She didn’t think she had to.

“Because let me tell you something about me. You don’t scare me. You don’t intimidate me, and you never have. I meant what I said about this not being a game. I don’t know what the hell this is, but I know I can’t stay away.”

The wave of warmth was back much bigger than before. Their gazes met and held, solidifying the moment with silent acknowledgement.

“Okay,” Addison murmured.

“Okay,” Meredith countered then added. “I think I’m ready to order.”

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

Here’s another installment. I think it progresses the story along as well as the budding Addison/Mer relationship with all its intensity. Remember not all of this is canon. Callie/Arizona are together but there are no children in this story for anyone. Regardless, I hope you enjoy. I’ll update again as soon as the Muse strikes…probably a couple of weeks. Thanks for all the feedback so far! I'm getting all into this one. Thanks also as always to MSonya!

 

* * *

 

Derek scratched at the overnight stubble covering his chin. He switched on the lamp on the nightstand to provide some illumination. The sun was at least an hour away from rising, but he had given up trying to return to sleep. Yawning, he pushed the comforter off and stood. As he shuffled toward the bathroom, he opened the windows wider, letting in fresh air and the sounds of the waking forest. While brushing his teeth, he peered at his reflection. Bloodshot eyes blinked back at him, adding to his scruffy appearance. Unaffected by the way he looked, he continued his morning ablutions.

After shaving, he reached inside the shower, turning it on before stepping in. The initial blast of cold water was invigorating, waking him completely. By the time he was done, he would radiate the illusion of a man well put together. Yet, inside he was, unsettled and unsure. He had no idea who to trust. Past betrayal that took the form of his best friend, and then, there was his current heartbreak. They were the people he valued most besides his family, but now, the lines were muddled between the present and old pain of the past, making it all feel new again. He had no idea which way to turn.

He could have called his sisters. He could have reached out for their support, but that wasn’t their dynamic. He had always been the rock. Derek was determined to make it through this just as he had everything else. All he needed was time and his work. So, he stood alone, and did what he had to in order to protect what was left in any way he could.  Unfortunately, there were consequences.

Every time he opened his mouth the past few weeks he had hurt Meredith.

Every time he ignored Mark or turned him away, he hurt him as well.

Derek wasn’t sure if he knew how to stop. It had taken everything in him not lash out at Meredith during her impromptu visit. She had been right. Every word had been on point, and Mark was just…Mark. Maybe it was better this way for the time being because in his current state, he wasn’t good for anyone. He tipped his head upward toward the heated spray and wished that he could wash it all away.

Stepping out of the shower, Derek reached for a towel. He threw it over his head, rubbing it over damp locks before drying the rest of his body. He tied the towel around his waist and walked back into the hallway, stopping in front of the windows once more.  The dark had lightened to a distinctive grey. He peered into the murkiness for a few more seconds before throwing himself back into what had become his morning routine. Something had to stay the same because literally everything else in his life had changed.

 

**

Bending down for a kiss, Mark murmured, “Thanks for making my morning interesting Sara.”

The blonde scowled.

“Sharon. I meant, Sharon. Simple mistake.” He grinned…the slow sultry one that always brokered forgiveness.

Her eyes softened. “Later?”

“I have your number.” Mark replied.

She nodded and turned, making her way down the hall. Mark watched her leave. Tilting his head to the side, he further admired the view.  His attention waned as soon as he heard the ding of the elevator.

Mark glanced at his neighbors’ closed door. It was still early yet, but he was out of milk. “Eh, screw it.” Stepping back inside his own home, he fished out a key. He’d been warned about using it for anything other than an emergency, but Mark was sure that his smile could even work on lesbians.

He chuckled to himself. It did, after all work on Addison and Callie. Mark crushed those thoughts. It felt weird to let them roam free. He wasn’t that much of a pig. They were his friends. He didn’t have many of those these days. Shaking off morose thoughts, he opened the door to his neighbors’ home.

He gave the living area a quick scan. All was quiet. As he glanced toward the kitchen, Callie Torres brought a spoon full of cereal to her mouth and chewed slowly. She glared in his direction.

Mark grinned.

Her gaze narrowed. Callie stuck the utensil back into the bowl and set them on the counter. “I could have been naked.” She grumbled.

“But you weren’t. Do you have milk?” He moved toward the refrigerator.

“We could have been having sex on the counter.” She added. “We’ve discussed this. You’d better be glad it wasn’t Arizona. She would have---“

Mark snorted. “I can handle perkiness in the morning just fine.” He reached in and pulled out the jug of two percent. There was barely enough to cover the bottom of the container. He raised it to eye level. “Is this all you have?”

Callie shrugged. “The rest is in my cereal and it’s mine.”

“I have such stingy women in my life. Why are we friends again? I need to ask Addie the same question when I see her.”

Callie smiled. “I think Grey will have her occupied. Good luck with that.”

He leaned against the counter next to her. “Really?”

“Uh huh.”

“Huh, I knew something was going on but---“ Mark scratched at the whiskers on his jaw.

“Yep.” Callie interrupted. “It’s gonna get interesting.”

A door opened. Arizona entered the living area. She stopped and looked at them both before sighing.

“I brought you milk. Callie said you guys didn’t have any.” Mark held up the jug and smiled proudly.

Callie chuckled. “You need help.”

“Definitely.” Arizona mumbled.

“Anyway. So, she’s okay with the whole Derek angle?” Mark continued.

“Do you think she cares about that?” Callie asked in return.

Mark pursed his lips and murmured. “It’s Addie so probably not.”  He handed the last of the milk to Arizona and watched as she poured it into her coffee. “She really is serious about this whole reform thing?”

“I think so.” Arizona chimed in. “We should do something to show our support.”

Mark glanced at Callie, and they both stared at Arizona. “Don’t think they make a Hallmark card for something like that.” He added.

Arizona rolled her eyes. “We could just have a little get together…nothing formal. It could be like a welcome back combined with a… we support your foray into monogamy thing.”

Pondering it for a moment, Mark nodded. It would be nice to have everyone he cared about in close quarters for once. “I’m in.”

“Who do we invite?” Callie asked. “Obviously not Derek.”

“I’d say that’s a given at this point.” Arizona answered. “Bailey and Webber if they can come. Yang, Karev and Hunt too since I’m sure Meredith is coming as well.”

“We’d have to do like from six till ten to give everybody time to drop in.” Callie added.

Mark clapped his hands. “Sounds good. When are we doing this?”

Arizona shrugged. “Couple days? It’s only a handful of people so…”

“Okay, what do you need me to do?” Mark asked.

Arizona smiled.

Callie laughed. “Ohhh, you should have never said that.”

**

Meredith entered the hotel lobby. She wasn’t at all sure of what she was doing, but she was doing it anyway. She tightened her grip around the drink holder and the greasy bag that accompanied it. This visit had the potential to be slightly uncomfortable, but Meredith deemed it necessary to eliminate the residual awkwardness between them that remained. She didn’t want any more misunderstandings.

She stepped to the side and placed breakfast on a nearby table. Fishing out her cell phone, Meredith penned a text to Calliope Torres.

**Weird request…what’s Addison’s room number?**

It took a minute or two before a reply was forthcoming. **You mean you haven’t seen it first hand? :D**

Meredith sighed. **C’mon. Make this easy please? Food is getting cold.**

**Aww, Thumper that’s sweet. 519. Make sure you tell her I told you.**

Thumper. Meredith scrunched up her nose. She didn’t think that fit her at all. **Thanks. I think.**

The ride in the elevator should have given the nerves time to settle in, but it was Meredith’s resolve that was strengthened. She couldn’t get to know Addison if she counted on …just Addison. Meredith had the feeling that she had to shake things up a bit. With that in mind, she knocked briskly on Addison’s door.

For a long moment, there was no answer. Meredith had to knock again.

“Yes? Who is it?”

“Room service,” Meredith replied.

“I didn’t order anything yet…” Addison added as she opened the door. An auburn brow rose high on her forehead. There was obvious hesitation in blue eyes, but it quickly changed to a familiar twinkle. “Well, is this what you can get delivered now days?”

“Upon special request.” Meredith leaned against the door jab.

“Funny, I don’t recall picking up the phone.”

“New service. Just added it this morning. Comes with the suite.” Meredith continued. She had no intentions of taking no for an answer.

Addison chuckled. “Good thing I was dressed.”

Meredith took in the tan slacks and matching shirt. They looked soft, expensive just like the woman herself. “Mmm, maybe. So, can I come in?”

Addison took a step back and opened the door wider. “Since you’re here.”

Meredith brushed past her. Their shoulders touched. It was just enough to brandish heat. She soaked it in and made her way toward the couch. “I didn’t know what you liked. I figured cinnamon rolls were a safe bet.”

“Hmm, I’m more of a power shake kind of girl in the morning.” Addison added, sarcastically.

“Ugh, really? That just seems wrong. If we’re going to date, you may have to make some changes.” Meredith decided to play along. She patted the seat next to her.

Quiet surrounded them, and Meredith sensed rather than saw Addison’s change in mood.

“Is that what we’re doing?”

Their eyes met. Addison’s gaze was almost unreadable. Meredith saw something there, but she wasn’t able to identify it…yet. Nevertheless, it resulted in a slow molten simmer deep in her chest.

“Yes, that’s what we’re doing. We settled this already.” Meredith answered softly.

Addison stared. Her gaze suddenly became predatory. Blue eyes studied her intently. Meredith felt them, raking over her skin and leaving their mark. She welcomed the sizzle. Meredith cleared her throat.

“Look, just accept it. You know that’s what this is. We’re not friends. There’s too much…”  Meredith wanted to say heat. The word wasn’t strong enough.

“You’ve done this before?” Addison husked.

“What… date?” Meredith grinned. “Sure plenty of times.”

Addison glared. “With a woman?”

“Uh no. Kissed a girl once though, when I was in grade school. Didn’t feel anything like when we did it.”

A small smile curled Addison’s lips as she snared the bottom one with her teeth. “Is that right?” She purred.

“Yes. That’s right.” Meredith was riveted by the action.

Addison seemed to soften. She looked almost vulnerable. “It’s been…a long time since I’ve done this. I guess it’ll be the blind leading the blind.”

“We can bump into things together.”

Addison smiled. This one was full blown and beautiful. It paused the growing awareness between them.

Meredith nearly sighed in relief. She patted the cushion beside her once more. “Breakfast.”

Finally, Addison sat down, and just like that, things flared to life. Meredith’s insides clenched as her body acknowledged their closeness. She glanced in the other woman’s direction. Addison was stiff, coiled with tension. Her hands were fisted and white knuckled.  Meredith’s gaze moved slowly upward pausing at Addison’s chest. The hardened tips of her nipples pressed against the fabric of her shirt. The bottom of Meredith’s stomach crashed to the floor. Her palms itched with the compulsion to reach out and touch.  Addison’s chest heaved, and the patch of skin her shirt left uncovered was flushed. The pulse in her neck was visibly pounding. Meredith may not have been familiar with women but the signs of escalating arousal were obvious. Meredith didn’t dare meet her eyes, knowing she would be lost. They hadn’t even touched. Meredith had never felt so powerful.

They were alone. There would be no knock at the door. She could push this and things would explode in the most pleasurable way possible.  Meredith took a cleansing breath and acknowledged that the left over flames could burn out quickly. She didn’t want that, and she hoped that Addison felt the same. She peered at Addison’s hands again. They remained fisted. Despite her obvious struggle, Addison was able to show restraint. So if she could inhibit herself, Meredith could try to do the same.

Taking a moment to steady herself, Meredith removed one of the coffees from the tray. Her hand trembled as she set it on the table. Meredith made a fist to contain it and continue her attempts to refocus.  She watched silently as Addison passed over the sugar and picked up three packets of Splenda.

Addison took her first sip and peered at Meredith over the rim. “What?”

Meredith found it difficult not to smirk. “No cream?”

Addison gave her a pointed look. “No cream.”

“I’ll remember that.”

“Mmm, I’m sure.” Addison countered.  “I’m sure your pastries are cold by now.”

“Got them fresh. They’ll still be good lukewarm.” Meredith dumped several packets of sugar and cream into her coffee. She could feel Addison watching her. It left a pleasant tingle behind.

“You might as well just pour the sugar down your throat.” Addison sounded disgusted.

Meredith laughed. “I like sugar, but I love food even more.”

“You can cook?”

“I can when I have the time.” Meredith answered.

Addison hummed as she bit into a cinnamon roll. “You’re just full of surprises.” She continued.

“On occasion.” Meredith added.

“So I’m learning.”

“You should probably be scared.”

Addison laughed. It lit up her entire face. Meredith caught herself staring. Her gaze fell to Addison’s lips. It had been a while since she’d tasted them. She was no saint. There was no way to turn the heat between them down completely. So, Meredith settled on a slow but definite simmer.

Addison grinned knowingly. “Of what?” She purred.

“You said liking me was dangerous, and I’m pretty sure Callie said something about tentacles.”

“She left out the teeth.”

“There’s a story there. I’m sure you’re dying to tell it. Does it have anything to do with her calling me Thumper?”

Addison snorted. “That was her doing not mine.”

“Mmm, but what does any of that have to do with you liking me?” Meredith refused to let them stray too far from the subject. There were things she needed to know…things she needed to say.

“You certainly know how to push don’t you?” Addison responded. The wary look in her eyes was back.

“So I’ve been told.” Meredith wanted that expression gone. “I don’t think of it as a bad thing. Some people need a push at times.”

“Some…people don’t respond well to being pushed.” Addison countered. “At least not all the time.”

Meredith heard the words and the meaning behind them. She charged forward nonetheless. “I like you Addison.”

Blue eyes widened and that gentle vulnerable look returned. Addison licked her lips and her mouth opened as if she were about to speak. Nothing came out.

Meredith glanced up at the ceiling then back to Addison. “See. The sky didn’t fall.” She murmured.

Addison made a small sound of acquiescence and added, “No, I guess it didn’t.” Her gaze was heavy, intense, but she remained quiet, eating the rest of the cinnamon roll.

She could see the words, written plainly as day even if Addison could not say them, and Meredith found that she was satisfied with that. She cleared her throat. “Told you they were good.”

“No, you said they would still be lukewarm.”

“Well, it was inferred.”

“Hmm,” Addison mumbled as she reached into the bag for another one.

Several minutes passed, and yet again, Meredith found herself staring as Addison laughed. Tearing herself away, she glanced at her watch. Disappointment took hold. “It’s getting late.”

“Surgery soon?” Addison asked.

 “Yes…in about an hour and a half.”

Addison nodded and stood. She gathered the empty coffee cups and paper bag. “I guess I’ll see you there eventually.”

Meredith stood as well. “I’d say that’s more than likely. This was fun.”

Addison grinned but said nothing.

“You don’t give much. Do you?”

“Old habit I suppose.”

Meredith smirked. “This is why some people need to be pushed.”

Addison chuckled. “Touché.”

Ambling toward the door, Meredith was hyper aware of Addison behind her…her scent and her heat. She appreciated the awareness and the added stimulation. Opening the door, Meredith turned. Addison’s gaze was torrid, penetrating. Meredith waited for the other woman to step forward; to reach out; or to touch, loosening the hold she had on herself. As the seconds passed, realization struck and Meredith understood that trust had to be established here. Despite the banter and their attraction, the foundation they were standing on was fragile, and she had to treat it as such. Maybe Addison deserved a bit of gentleness as well.

“Oh, I think I forgot something.” Meredith muttered.

Addison glanced over her shoulder. It was just enough time--just enough. Meredith moved closer. When Addison turned back around, her gasp of surprise could be heard as well as felt. Bright blue eyes peered down at Meredith’s lips. Leaning in, Meredith brushed Addison’s mouth with hers.  Something powerful unraveled inside Meredith’s chest, and the taste of cinnamon and coffee made it nearly impossible to stop. Yet, she did. Intending to step away, the hands tangling in her hair stopped her. A soft whimper escaped.  Addison held her close…enough that they were sharing the same air.

Their eyes met. Sparks crackled around them, and Meredith found that she could not breathe.

“I like you too.” Addison whispered, punctuating the words with a kiss even softer than the one Meredith had initiated.

**

Addison was physically within the confines of the hospital, but the rest of her was still in her hotel room wrapped in that kiss. She couldn’t recall ever showing such restraint. She couldn’t recall wanting to do so. To do anything else would have ruined the moment. Despite the walls that attempted to impose themselves this morning, Meredith found a way inside with her humor and perseverance, and Addison was actually in awe of her ability to do so. It left her trying to figure out when a seemingly doomed series of passionate encounters culminated into this fledgling thing they were engaging in.

Despite her search for substance, longevity and a relationship, Addison was wary of it. How could she not be? Her track record was abysmal: rejection, a failed marriage, cheating and a string of one night stands combined with a myriad of unreturned phone calls. The formula for success had yet to find her, but that kiss…that kiss gave her an inkling of hope. In spite of her wariness, Addison wanted to cultivate…whatever this was. The dichotomy was confusing, but not enough to keep her from inching forward.

An arm slid over her shoulder, Addison jumped in surprise.

“You looked so peaceful staring off into space,” Mark muttered. “Besides I tried calling your name that didn’t work.”

Addison sighed. “Sorry, I’m a little—“

“Distracted?” Mark grinned.

Addison glared. “Okay, out with it. Let’s get the teasing all out of your system.”

He faked an expression of hurt. “You wound me!”

“Uh huh.”

“It’s just that you two have always been like oil and fire. I’m happy to sit back and watch the fireworks from it, especially now. I don’t think she’ll have any problem going toe to toe with you.”

Addison was starting to think the exact same thing. “No comment.”

Mark laughed. “I knew something was going on, but I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised.”

“Good, that makes one of us.” Addison murmured.

“Yeahh, I really feel sorry for you.” Mark smiled.

“Ass.” Addison retorted.

“Anyway, there’s this thing at Callie’s the day after tomorrow. Only a few people are coming, and it’s kinda for you so I’ll see you there.”

Addison stopped walking. “Come again?”

“We’re having this welcome back thing for you—“

“Uhmm, I’ve been here for a while.”

“What’s your point? It’s happening. Starts at six. Bring Grey, and since Derek is being an ass to everyone he wasn’t going to be invited anyway. So, you don’t have to worry about that.”

“I’m not. It’s none of his business. I’m sure there will be some fall out if this goes further, but they’re over.” Addison didn’t bother to hide the irritation in her voice.

“That’s what she said you’d say.”

“Who?”

“Callie.”

Addison chuckled. “Of course she’d say that.” She paused. “I’m not sure if Meredith will want---“

Mark snorted. “Judging by what I walked in on a couple weeks back, she wants. I thought the on call room was going to catch on fire.”

Addison slapped his shoulder as they made their way further down the hall.

Mark grinned and laughed.

Glancing up, Addison saw a familiar figure turning the corner. The immediate tension in Mark’s body let her know that he’d seen Derek too.

“It’s fine,” She whispered. “He probably won’t even acknowledge us.”

Mark smiled. It didn’t reach his eyes. “That’s the problem. I’m a little tired of being invisible.”

With his nose stuck in a chart, Derek passed by them as if they weren’t there.

Addison wrapped her arm around Mark’s and leaned into him. “You okay?”

There was no twinkle in his eyes. “Yeahhh, I’ll be fine.”

Not believing him for a moment, Addison stood up on her toes and kissed his cheek. She didn’t like seeing him in pain.

His gaze softened. “I’m glad you’re here.”

Addison smiled.

*

Sometime later, Addison stepped closer to the newest ultrasound, studying it for changes. She peered over her shoulder when the door opened.

“Anything?” Arizona asked.

“Only minute growth, but the fetus is showing signs of stress.” Addison answered.

“So is our patient. There may be some additional complications. Her blood pressure is becoming unstable.”

“I know, but right now, saving her uterus is more important to her.”

“Is there any way—“

“None that I can see yet.” Addison interrupted. “We may need a fresh pair of eyes on this. We have to get creative. After that stunt she pulled the other day, maybe Grey could offer some insight.” This was a last second decision, and now that it was out, it made sense.

Arizona didn’t respond.

Addison turned to look at her to find that the blonde was grinning from ear to ear. “Oh God, don’t start.”

“What?! I didn’t say anything.” Arizona’s voice was laced with laughter. “You could be right. She could offer a fresh perspective. I’ll let you do the honors.” She smirked. Then, she practically began bouncing. “Sooo, Mark texted me.”

“Uh good for you?” Addison raised a brow.

“I know you guys are coming.” Arizona bounced again.

Addison grinned. “Tell me something?”

“Sure.”

“With that blond perkiness thing going…how the hell did you fuck your way through half the hospital?”

Arizona stared. Her lips quirked. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

Addison blinked and found herself laughing rather loudly.

**

Addison closed the chart and peered at her watch. It was time to leave. There was nothing more she could do today. Opening her desk drawer, she pulled out her phone and pushed the home button.

No texts or messages of any type. It was somewhat disappointing. Deciding to take the situation in her own hands, Addison wrote a text.

**Busy day?**

It took several minutes before a reply was forthcoming. Addison was on her way out her office door.

 **Yes! How did you guess? Every time I had a minute to text you somebody else needed my attention.** **Did you leave already?**

 **I’m working on it.** Addison made her way to the elevator.

**Lucky you. I’m here for the night. One of my surgeries had complications I offered to stay and stand watch. Christina’s here too.**

**Sorry but not leaving just yet. Can you break away for a minute? Something I need to talk with you about.**

**Sure. Where are you?**  Meredith asked.

**Waiting for the elevator.**

**Come to ICU on call.**

**Ok.** An idea began to take form. **Wait. Give me thirty minutes or so. I have to run an errand. I’ll be back.** Addison added.

**Mmmkay u sure?**

**Yes, I’ll text when I’m back at the hospital.**

Addison got on the elevator and pressed the button for the parking garage. Feeling a little anxious, she wondered how her little gift would be received.

*

When Addison entered the on call room, she found Meredith laying on the couch with an arm covering her eyes.

“Tired?”

Meredith sat up slowly. “Exhausted but it’s the nature of the beast I suppose. Christina’s taking first watch.” Her eyes were nearly bloodshot. She held Addison’s gaze and waited.

Addison grinned and shifted the large bag behind her back.

“Is this about the party we’re going to?”

“No, I figured that was a foregone conclusion.”

Meredith smirked. “Really?”

“Yes, really.” Addison replied. Even talking to this woman had an effect, and she was enjoying it immensely. Something fluttered in her chest.

“Good guess.” Meredith added.

“I thought so.”

“Then what’s up? Don’t tell me you just _had_ to see me.” Green eyes sparkled. Meredith didn’t look so tired anymore.

“You really don’t stop do you?” Addison was glad she didn’t.  It was a heady feeling to know she was wanted…to know she was actively being pursued.

Meredith shook her head. “Not with you.” She paused. “Oh my God, what is that smell?”

“Focus Meredith.”

“I’ll try but no promises.” Meredith stretched and stood. She picked up a bottled water from the nearby table and took a long swallow.

It was as good a time as any. “I want you on this consult.” Addison said.

Meredith sputtered and choked. “What?” She wheezed through a coughing fit.

“I think you heard me.”

“I don’t---I don’t know how much help I’ll be but yeah, okay.” Meredith’s eyes were wide with surprise and she nodded enthusiastically.

“It’s not just because we’re…well you know. I think you may have something to offer on this case.”

“Well, consider it a done deal.”  Meredith sat the bottle down and moved forward. “Now, what’s in the bag? It smells... I can’t even.”

“It could just be me, you know.”

Meredith’s gaze intensified. The air between them expanded and began to churn. “No, I’m more than familiar with the way you smell, and that’s not it.”

Addison’s belly twisted. It was a very intimate thing to say. “Is that right?” She purred.

“It is.” Meredith held out her hand and wiggled her fingers. “Now give it to me.”

Addison laughed. She was beginning to wonder how it was possible to be turned on and completely amused simultaneously. She handed the bag to Meredith. “Since you’re stuck here all night, I decided to be nice.”

Meredith opened the bag. “Chinese. It didn’t smell like—“

“Like the greasy shit down the street? That’s because it isn’t.” Suddenly feeling a little self-conscious, Addison added. “I didn’t know what you liked so I got a few things. There should be plenty for Yang too.”

Meredith’s smile was huge. She sat the bag down and moved closer. Reaching out, she brushed at the shoulder of Addison’s shirt. “General Tso’s chicken.” She whispered as her gaze fell to Addison’s lips.

For some reason, they became the sexiest words in creation. “It’s in there.” Addison mumbled. The knots in her stomach tightened and transformed into something scorching.

This time when Meredith touched her, she caressed actual skin. A finger trailed down her throat. “A thoughtful Addison Montgomery… wait until this gets out.” Meredith’s smirk was sultry.

“Fuck you,” Addison murmured affectionately.

Meredith released a trembling breath. “Let’s just… let that sit in the air for a minute. I’m trying to keep my hands to myself, but you’re making it so damn hard.” She husked, wrapping her arms around Addison’s neck, bringing their bodies together.

Addison shivered even though it burned where Meredith touched. The protracted moment was thrilling, and this time, Addison was compelled to be the one to solidify it. Need made it impossible to resist. It wasn’t a violent clash but the gentleness from the morning was absent.

When their lips met, Addison moaned as a thousand little fires lit her from within, setting her ablaze.

Without warning, Meredith wrenched herself away.

“God,” she murmured raggedly. Their eyes met, and Meredith looked at her in wonder. Her hands slid over Addison’s cheeks before fisting into her hair. “I—“ The sentence was left unfinished as Grey surged forward instead.

This time, lips crashed together with all the vehemence that hadn’t been present a moment before.

A loud beeping noise pierced the air, hampering the exchange.

Meredith pressed her face into Addison’s neck. “Fuck.” She mumbled. Unable to stop completely, Meredith nipped at exposed skin.

Addison melted and tilted her head back, increasing access. Her skin felt as if it were vibrating. “Your—“ She swallowed. “Pager.”

Teeth grazed Addison’s chin creating a riot of sensation.

“I know.” Meredith whispered.

Somehow Grey was able to tear herself away. She stepped back. Her pupils were nearly blown. Ragged breathing filled the air.

The door to the on call room burst open. “Dr. Grey---“

“I’m coming.” Meredith told the nurse.

Meredith walked toward the exit. As she passed, their hands touched, fingers tangled. Then, Addison was alone. She closed her eyes and marveled at what she’d just experienced.

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

I will throw out a big apology for my absence. I’ve been rewriting Blurred Lines which is going to be published early next year. So…yay! I haven’t even began to work with my editor on bigger changes. In the meantime, I wanted to visit this cast of characters in a chapter that packs a little punch that I hope makes up for things…yes? I hope you enjoy. I’m not sure when the next chapter will be up just work with me. Thanks as always to Msonya for pushing me like she does. Flashbacks are in italics.

* * *

 

Discarding the remainder of her sleepwear, Christina yawned and stretched before ambling toward the shower. Steam billowed, beckoning her silently just like the other occupant. She pulled back the curtain, and Owen blinked at her bleary eyed and dripping wet. His smile was tired but there nonetheless. She eased in behind him, draping her arms around his torso and pressing a kiss between his shoulder blades.

“Did you just get in? You look exhausted.”

“That’s because I am,” Owen added. “And yes I did. I’m getting too old for these overnights.”

Christina smiled before she answered. “Or maybe too soft? The Chief’s chair is awfully cushy.”

He glanced over his shoulder, eyeing her. There was a twinkle in his eyes. “Does anything feel or look soft to you?”

Christina glared but did nothing to hide the curl of her lips. “Really? That was such a man thing to say.”

He peered down at himself. “Well…”

She smacked her hand against his chest. “Please. Don’t go there.”

Owen chuckled.

“You’re sure that you can make it tonight?”

“Yes, but not long. I need to make sure I’m prepared for the board meeting at the end of the week. Besides, I wouldn’t miss it. Should be interesting.”

Yang stared at him and quirked brow. “And what does that mean?”

“Because from what I understand Addison and Grey in the same room together has always been…fascinating even if there is a whole new dimension now.”

Christina scrunched her nose. “Let me correct myself. That was a very man thing to say.”

Owen laughed outright. “Like you won’t be there front and center.”

“Of course I will. It’s where I’m supposed to be.”

“You’re really okay with those two?”

“Yeah, I…Mer is rattled. I’ve never seen her like that. It works for her.”

“And it’s nice to have the house to ourselves again.”

She smacked him again. “You’re on a roll.”

He grinned. “Just kidding. You’re there for her. Just like you’ve always been there for me. Can’t fault that.”

Christina’s insides liquefied. She pulled him closer, brushing her mouth against the side of his neck before turning him around and rewarding him for his words.

*

Mark padded quietly through the living area to get to the kitchen. He reached for the refrigerator door and decided he really needed to go grocery shopping.

A loud thump stopped him cold. The squeal of throaty laughter that followed turned his attention toward Callie and Arizona’s bedroom.

“We don’t have time for this.” Arizona’s voice was muffled but he could still make out each word.

“Yesss…we do.” Callie added.

There was a moan.

Mark’s eyes widened. He couldn’t stop the grin that spread across his face. “Go Callie.” He whispered.

Opening the refrigerator, he reached for the brand new gallon of milk. Then, slowly and softly he opened the cabinet and swiped a box of cereal as well. “Guys, I’m borrowing some groceries.” He mumbled quietly. “Thanks.”

There was a whimper. Mark swallowed. He knew that whimper well. It was Callie’s. His movements hastened despite the rogue in him begging him to stay.

*

Covered in sweat and breathing heavily, Callie chuckled as Arizona smiled.

“I can admit when I’m wrong…most of the time.” Arizona mumbled breathlessly.

“Mmm.” Callie murmured.

“The bed was only a few feet away.”

Callie nuzzled Arizona’s neck and made sure every inch of exposed skin was touching. The blonde shivered. “There’s no way I could’ve made it.”

“God, there’s something so sexy about that.”

“I know.” Callie burred proudly.

“You could have just joined me in the shower instead of tackling me afterwards. Now, I have to---“

“Arizona?” Callie growled.

“Uh, yes?”

“Shut up.” Callie’s hands began to wander.

Arizona groaned, “Okay, I—“

Torres silenced her with a kiss.

*

Derrick splashed water on his face then peered at his reflection. If it were possible, he looked even more haggard than he did before. The stubble on his face was more pronounced and so was the redness in his eyes, but he knew it was his fault for sleeping at the hospital the past couple of nights instead of going home to his own bed.

The hospital had everything he needed: a shower, a bed, and an array of toiletries to whip him into presentable shape. However, nothing beat the comfort of home. He snorted at the white lie he was telling himself. Comfort didn’t matter, but he had to acknowledge that the loneliness was starting to get to him despite his need to isolate. There was a party tonight, and he was far from invited. Derek would have never known if it wasn’t for passing whispers.  

He was no longer part of the inner circle, and this was his own fault as well. It stung nonetheless but Derek knew he wasn’t prepared to do anything about it just yet. The party wasn’t the only thing he’d heard about. Meredith was officially working with Addison on her consult.

It made absolutely no sense considering he walked in on them attempting to scratch each other’s eyes out not too long ago. It gave him pause to know that Addison had been back in Seattle for a little less than a month, and she had already made her mark yet again.  Whereas he was barely hanging on. He wasn’t jealous of her success or ability to adapt. It was more of an acknowledgement of the current dichotomy between them. He was busy figuratively tearing down the house that had been so meticulously built over the years while Addison was reconstructing.

**

While standing on Seattle Grace’s roof, Meredith finished the last bit of coffee and continued to peer out at the morning haze that swamped the Seattle skyline. The expanse of her surroundings always made her feel so small in comparison, but it was usually needed. It was easier to think knowing her place in the universe.

Most of all, Grey now knew where she fit into Addison’s world. It was a relief in a way. Yet, it was also a little frightening. On the outside, it seemed as if Meredith hadn’t invested much in this thing between them…a few kisses, heated stares, some laughs and obvious intimacy. Internally, a bond or sorts had formed between them built on honesty, attraction and burgeoning feelings.

If they didn’t work, everything that was growing between them could disappear as soon as this consult was over, dissipating like air as soon as Addison got on a plane back to California. This is where the fear came in. Meredith knew…she knew of this possibility before it was even discussed. It danced in the back of her mind just out of reach, letting her baser instincts take over.

It all boiled down to the fact that she didn’t have much time to solidify things between them and give Addison a reason to stay or a reason to return. Meredith knew that this wasn’t all in her lap. Addison had to want it. Now, it wasn’t even a question anymore because she knew the answer. Grey smiled as some of the fear abated and recent memory took over.

 

_Meredith stepped off the elevator onto the fifth floor at The Ritz. She smiled at the few passersby as she made her way down the hall. A white bag full of pastries swung in one hand while the other was fastened around a drink holder._

_The night before was fresh on her mind. Her body still tingled with awareness. Their encounter had been enough fuel to keep her up the rest of the night. There was no way she was going home to bed without some further acknowledgment._

_Knocking on the door, Grey took a step back and waited. There was a few seconds of quiet, and Meredith could have sworn she was being watched. Then, the door opened and green eyes seemed to swallow her whole._

_Their gazes locked. An electrical buzz singed the air._

_Meredith’s heart tripped in her chest and her stomach coiled violently. She had to remind herself to breath._

_Addison’s grin was a slow naughty curl of her lips as if she knew exactly what she was doing and enjoying it immensely.  “So,” she murmured softly. “This is a thing.”  Addison glanced at the bag in her hand._

_Regardless of the lack of invitation, Meredith pushed her way through. “Yes, it’s a thing.”_

_“Should I expect you every morning?” Addison asked. Her tone was hesitant but hopeful._

_Meredith set the bag and cup holder on the coffee table. She turned around and met eyes that had yet to look away, letting the gaze burn her. “Should I expect you every night?” Grey countered._

_Instead of answering, Addison was across the room in three steps, bringing them together and setting the air around them on fire._

_“I owe you.” Addison whispered hotly as her hands slid around Meredith’s waist, molding their curves together._

_Grey clutched at Addison’s shoulders, digging in and holding on for the ride that was sure to come._

_“For?” Meredith asked huskily._

_Full lips teased her own, expanding the heat between them but not concentrating it, placing her whole body in an anticipatory vice._

_“What you did…to me.” Addison’s words were dripping with need. Addison’s mouth trailed downward over Meredith’s chin before brushing against her neck._

_“I think…we’re even.” Meredith countered raggedly as her ability to breathe was suddenly compromised._

_“I’ll let you know when that happens.” Addison murmured._

_Teeth nipped, sending sparks of sensation down Grey’s spine. This was followed by the soft swipe of Addison’s tongue, over stimulating already sensitized skin._

_Meredith’s stomach curled into tight knots while the rest of her just simply melted. “God…Addison.”_

_Addison laughed throatily. “Yes, I like that.”_

_They hadn’t even really kissed and Meredith was a puddle on the floor._

_“You’re driving me crazy,” Grey whimpered._

_“I know the feeling.” Addison murmured directly in her ear before flicking her tongue inside._

_Meredith’s eyes rolled to the back of her head. “Jesus!” Her hands wound into Addison’s hair and pulled. “Will you just kiss me all fucking ready.”_

_Grey heard as well as felt Addison’s breath catch. Then, the transition was seamless moving from one kind of caress to another._

_There was no way for Meredith to contain the loud moan that erupted when their lips finally met._

_So she didn’t._

_Addison did her best to swallow it._

_The kiss was playful but intensely heated just as all things were between them. Meredith found herself smiling even as her body was scorched from within._

_When Addison began grinning as well, it changed the tone between them, banking the heat. It was a needed reprieve. Meredith wasn’t naïve. Eventually and probably soon, the attraction between would be too much to contain, especially after the mutual acknowledgement of it, but she was enjoying the hell out of the in between._

_“Morning,” Meredith murmured hoarsely as the kisses tapered off._

_“Mmm.” Addison peered down at her. Amusement and affection shined in her eyes. Her fingertips brushed at the exhausted smudge under Meredith’s eye before grazing her cheek. With that one touch, things went from searing to intimate._

_Meredith’s heart quivered for a different reason altogether._

_“Tired?” Addison asked._

_Grey nodded. “I wanted to see you. Christina wanted me to thank you for the food.”  Meredith smirked._

_Addison laughed. “Sweet of you to come all this way for that.”_

_“I know isn’t it?”_

_“Mmm hmm. Cinnamon rolls?”_

_Meredith nodded. “And almond croissants.”_

_“Let’s eat before we get ourselves in trouble.” Addison paused as she stepped away. “We should probably talk too.”_

_“Uh oh.” Grey added playfully. She expected a sarcastic response. It sobered her that none was forthcoming. She followed Addison to the couch._

_Minutes passed. Despite the domesticity of sharing breakfast, apprehension took hold of Meredith. She had to voice it. “Addison?”_

_Addison looked at her. Her expression was open and vulnerable regardless of the tension around them. “We’ve been pretty honest with each other, right?”_

_“So far.” Meredith agreed._

_“I think we need it to stay that way.”_

_Meredith leaned back, putting some distance between them. “Is there something---“_

_“No, it’s not like that. It’s something we haven’t acknowledged, and I think we need to.”_

_“Okay.” Meredith added hesitantly._

_“I’m here on a consult. I don’t live here, Meredith. When it’s done, I go home.”_

_It felt like ice water had been poured down her back. “Well, I know that, but—“_

_“What is this? What are we doing? It’s not a fling is it?” Addison continued to interrupt. Her questions were more of statements of fact than anything._

_Meredith decided to put herself out there, as if she had a choice. “It doesn’t feel like one.”_

_“No, it doesn’t. Otherwise you’d be in my bed with your legs over my shoulders.”_

_The erotic imagery that resulted from Addison’s words caught Meredith off guard. Their gazes held. Grey had nothing to say. There was no refuting it._

_“And we would be over before we even started.” Addison stated. “I don’t want that. I want to figure out what this is no matter how it ends.”_

_Savoring the honesty and the growing bond between them, Meredith reached out, sliding her hand into Addison’s and squeezing. “Me too.”_

Meredith blinked and glanced down at her watch. She was almost late, and Addison was expecting her. Her stomach fluttered as she turned and headed toward the door. As she opened it, Meredith nearly collided with Christina.

“Thought I’d find you here.” Yang stated. She stepped to the side, allowing entry into the stairwell. “Nervous?” She asked.

“No, not in the traditional sense. I don’t excel in this field like Addison does, but like I said before, I’m up for it.” Meredith answered.

“Uh huh, that’s not what I meant.”

Grey glanced in Christina’s direction as they continued to descend the stairs. “What do…oh.”

“Yeah, you’re going to be seeing a lot of each other. Oversaturation can be a killer.”

“I want to.” Meredith countered. “Even if it’s in a professional capacity. She’s not exactly the easiest person to get to know. I think this will help.”

Yang smirked. “You really do like a challenge.”

Meredith smiled in return. “I do, and so does she.”

**

Addison watched as Meredith scoured the ultrasounds and other x-rays. Grey muttered to herself as she continued her examination. It was almost adorable. Addison chuckled quietly. She was equal parts amused and disgusted by her observation.

“Abigail’s asking for a miracle don’t you think?” Meredith glanced over her shoulder to find Addison’s gaze.

“Isn’t that why you called me?” Addison teased.

“That head of yours must be heavy to drag all over the place.”

Addison chuckled. “Not at all.”

“This could be an interesting case to publish once it’s all over.” Meredith added.

“I agree.”

“Well, so far all I see are possible ways to prevent further damage to her bladder.”

Addison blinked. “You saw that right away?”

“Yeah.” Meredith pointed at the images. “There’s a small area here that’s almost clear. We could go in there, preventing further damage to the surrounding tissue.”

“Very impressive. It took me a while to notice that. I had to pull back and look at it in sections instead of as a whole. I knew bringing you on was a good idea.” Addison’s could hear the pride in her own voice. She grinned at Meredith.

Grey ducked her head but not before Addison saw the red in her cheeks. She laughed. “Are you—“

“No!” Meredith interjected. “Just…thank you.”

Addison studied her. “You’re brilliant. You do know that right?”

Grey’s face continued to redden and she tried to look away.  Addison refused to let her. She stepped closer, demanding her gaze. “I know my capabilities. It’s nice of you to say that.”

“I wasn’t being nice. It’s a fact. There’s no reason to doubt…”  Addison paused as epiphany struck. “Derek really was an ass to you wasn’t he?”

Meredith smiled. It didn’t reach her eyes. “You could say that. It’s hard when someone you cared about tears you down in front of virtually the whole hospital. I guess I’ve been trying to prove myself. Surgery pretty much kept me sane.”

Addison let her ire toward her ex-husband show. “He can be a dick.” The need to comfort this woman was foreign to her, but Addison did it anyway. She cupped Meredith’s cheeks, letting her thumbs trail leisurely over smooth skin. “I’m sure you know that I can be an asshole, but I’ll try my best not to be one to you.”

Meredith’s eyes softened and glittered with amusement. “Thank you, but you’re a little late.”

Addison snorted at the other woman’s audacity. “I like you.” The words fell freely from her lips without hesitation. Each day she was becoming more comfortable with the changes implemented both purposefully and through happenstance. It felt good.

Meredith’s eyes widened, and the smile that curled her lips was blinding. “That’s the second time you’ve said that.”

“Are you counting?” Addison asked.

“Yes,” Meredith whispered before leaning in and brushing Addison’s lips with her own. Addison allowed the chaste contact and returned it in equal measure. She didn’t push it further intent on keeping some boundaries now that they were working together.

The door to the exam room opened.

Identifying the intruder almost immediately, they stepped away from each other reluctantly.

Arizona smiled and cooed, “Isn’t this nice.”

Addison rolled her eyes and smirked at Meredith before muttering, “You’re late.”

Arizona’s eyes twinkled. “Busy morning.”

“Riiight.” Addison didn’t dig further even though the temptation was there. “Let’s look at this with fresh eyes and a different angle. Maybe that will help.”

**

Addison brushed her hand over her clothing, smoothing out the wrinkles that accrued during the drive to Meredith’s. The day had been long and supplied very few answers regarding her case, but she left that all behind the minute she walked out of the hospital. The remnants were washed away by a hot shower, leaving her ready for whatever the night would bring.

Her attire was simple, casual, a soft blue dress that showed a tantalizing amount of cleavage and a modicum of leg. Knowing that she looked good provided a sense of relief and solace. On the surface, it was simple night out with friends, but Addison felt it was more than that. She was revealing new aspects of herself to them. She wasn’t the same person she was few months ago, and now, there had been an even more drastic change with the addition of Meredith, no matter where it led.

Addison took a deep, cleansing breath as she made it up the sidewalk.

It was a momentous occasion indeed on many fronts. To add to her list of accomplishments and changes, Addison had gotten through the day with Meredith in arms length with only the smallest of improprieties. It had been difficult not to touch or taste and leave them both sweaty and needy. Yet, she survived despite Meredith’s prolonged stares and subsequent teasing. Maybe she could loosen the reins a little tonight and find a sliver of relief before doing it all again tomorrow. Addison bit her lip to keep a wicked grin from taking shape. She was no saint. There was no point in holding herself to the same rigidity.

She rang the bell and waited.

Meredith opened the door and smiled as she put in an earring.  “Come in.” She muttered as she stepped away from the doorway.  Addison eyed her appreciatively. She was wearing slacks that molded to curves and seemed to make her legs go on forever. The matching shirt was highlighted by a soft pink camisole that made her want to reach out and touch.

Addison entered. She scanned her surroundings, but her gaze continuously gravitated toward Meredith. “You look nice.”

Meredith turned and their eyes locked. The temperature in the living room went up a few degrees. The smirk that Addison had come to crave presented itself. Her stomach coiled in response.

“Thanks. So do you, but I’m sure you already know that.” Meredith paused. “There’s wine in the kitchen. I thought we’d need at least one glass to prepare us to be stared at all night.”

Addison chuckled. “They won’t be that bad.”

Meredith glared.

“We can hope.” Addison added.

“Follow me.” Meredith encouraged.

Addison entered the kitchen. “You know it’s strange. We’re dating but this is the first time I’ve been here.”

Meredith smiled as she poured two glasses of wine. “Who said we were conventional?”

Addison snorted. “I certainly didn’t.”

“Well, you’re welcomed here anytime as long as you have Chinese, cinnamon rolls or anything else… tasty to offer.”

Addison reached for the glass of wine. Their fingers brushed, causing her own to tingle. “Care to elaborate?”

Meredith peered at Addison over the rim of her glass. She took a sip before murmuring, “I’m sure you can figure something out.”

Something inside Addison gave way. She moved closer…close enough to touch and cause some real damage. “You’re such a fucking tease.”

That smirk was back. Meredith lowered her glass to the counter and with absolute confidence purred, “You like it.”

Addison’s body screamed at the distance still between them. She stepped forward, but Meredith was the one who closed the remaining gap as the heat they facilitated finally boiled over. Lips met in a voracious crash, garnering a groan of much needed satisfaction from Addison.

“I do.” Addison whispered hotly before entwining Meredith’s tongue with her own.

Meredith whimpered and her hands began to wander unsatisfied with their resting place around Addison’s neck.

Even though her brain was short circuiting, Addison continued her commentary. “Do you even know what you’re… doing?” She murmured as she nipped at Meredith’s bottom lip.

“No,” Meredith husked seconds later. “But this feels…”

Addison cried out in surprised pleasure as hands cupped her breasts, kneading them roughly. She arched into the touch seeking more.

“Yess…exactly like that.” Meredith continued needfully.

“You’re fucking kidding!”

Startled by the exclamation, Addison stumbled backward, ending their embrace.

She turned toward the kitchen entrance to see Karev standing in the doorway. His eyes were wide. “How long has this been going on? Am I totally out of the loop?”

“None of your business and yes,” Meredith answered breathlessly. “Don’t you knock?!”

“It’s the kitchen!” His voice went up a few octaves.

There was a pause.

“Well…yeah.”

Addison watched the display with some amusement. Her heartbeat began to slow, but the cramping in her belly was more difficult to abate. Meredith’s face was flushed. Her lips were swollen, and her hair was in disarray. Seeing this did nothing to help.

Meredith eyed her knowingly. “Maybe we should go.”

Instead of responding verbally, Addison just smiled, and she hoped it was as dirty as it felt.

Green eyes twinkled back at her, and Addison knew she had hit her mark. She glanced at Karev. “Sorry you’re not coming to the party.”

He shrugged. “I don’t mind helping to mind the shop. Plus, I just got a free show so…winning.” Karev grinned.

Addison rolled her eyes and tried to ignore the hum of her body. It was going to be a long night.

*

The drive to Callie’s was riddled with tension. Addison basked in the intensity of it. She loved this part, the anticipation, even if it was more prolonged than it had ever been before. She felt refreshingly alive.  Meredith’s constant gaze only added to the mix.

Addison glanced toward Grey, catching hungry eyes. “You’re not talking.”

“I don’t really want to,” Meredith countered. “I don’t want it to spoil what I’m feeling right now.”

Everything inside Addison clenched. “I don’t think there’s any chance of that.”

Meredith chuckled. “Maybe.”

“Talk to me. It’s the second best thing we’re good at doing.”

Meredith laughed outright.

Addison grinned.

“I agree.” Grey paused. “We’re really going to do this? Be all couply in front of everyone? Are we ready?”

The nervousness in Meredith’s tone was easily discerned. Addison wanted to alleviate it. “I am. I may be a bit rusty.

Meredith quieted. When Addison glanced in her direction, the blonde’s gaze had softened. “What?”

“It felt really nice to hear you say that. I just wanted you to be sure about this.”

“You should know by now I don’t do anything unless I want to do it.” Addison added.

“I do know that. You know, with stuff like this, I don’t have the best track record…”

Addison laughed. “Like I do? The blind leading the blind remember?”

“I just…I don’t want to make the same mistakes with you, okay?” Meredith’s words were all jumbled together.

She didn’t either. It was a fear that had been sitting quietly, waiting to move to the forefront. Addison was no stranger to self-sabotage. She swallowed, and her stomach fluttered for a different reason. “Me either,” she whispered.

 

***

The doorbell rang.

“Mark! Get that please.” Callie called into the living room from the kitchen and continued to put the finishing touches on the appetizers. He didn’t answer, but she glanced toward the living area, watching as he let Grey and Addison inside.

A minute later he was beside her, grinning.

“You look like a used car salesman. Please stop.”

“What? I always look like this.”

Callie snorted.

“They look all dewy and glowy.”

“Really? You think they…”

“I’m not a psychic.” Mark added.

“Yeah, but you’re Mark Sloan.” Callie looked down at the finished shrimp balls with satisfaction.

He smirked. “Yes, I am. We could just ask.”

“Ask what?” Addison interjected. Grey was standing right beside her at the kitchen entrance.

“If you’ve guys had sex.” Mark answered.

Callie watched them both carefully. She expected Addie’s eye roll and got it in spades. Meredith just smiled and reached for a shrimp ball. Callie smacked her hand away.

“I’m sure you can wait a minute.”

She glanced down a second later only to see that one was missing. When she looked up again, Addison was handing it to Grey. Addison grinned.

Callie’s glared. Then, she could feel her eyebrows shoot toward her hairline as Grey leaned into Addie, kissing her chin. Addison did not appear surprised by the response. She smiled and met the blonde’s gaze.

After a few seconds passed, Callie had the feeling that they had completely forgotten about everyone else in the room. The sparks shooting off them were palpable. Callie caught Mark’s eye. He looked just as shocked. Callie smiled at the display. She had no idea things had gotten so far between them. Their comfort level was obvious. It was a relief to see Addison like this. In fact, she had _never_ seen her like this. Callie had a feeling that Addison was beginning to understand what those tentacles could do.

“Before you start making out against the counter, I wanted to remind you guys you’re not alone.” Mark stated.

Callie threw her oven mitt at his head, and joined in on the glare the others were giving him.

“What? What’d I say?”

***

Christina bit into her fourth shrimp ball in the past thirty minutes and watched as Meredith watched Addison talking and laughing with Callie and Arizona. Within a few seconds, Grey’s whole body had turned in that direction.

Christina began to think that rattled wasn’t the proper word.

She scrunched her nose. That didn’t work either, but there was definitely a lot more going on than she realized. Christina continued with her examination. As if knowing she was being studied, Addison turned and glanced around the room.

“Whoa,” Christina whispered. The look in Addison’s eyes as she peered at Meredith was heated to say the least. Eventually, Addison’s gaze found hers. Yang quirked a brow and picked up her drink, raising it toward Addison.

For a few seconds, Addison’s eyes were unreadable. Then, she smirked.

That didn’t work either.

She snaked a hand around Owen’s elbow. He peered down at her. “What?”

Yang fed him the rest of her shrimp ball and muttered, “Look.”

“Mmm, those are good. What am I—“

“Them.” She clarified.

“Who?”

Christina sighed before grasping her husband’s chin and directing him toward Meredith and Addison who were now standing dangerously close to each other.

“Whoa.”

“That’s what I said.”

“That’s what I call chemistry.” Owen added.

**

Yang glanced to the side as Meredith bumped her shoulder.

“Oh, you were able to tear yourself away?” Christina smirked.

Meredith reddened and tried to glare. It was completely ineffective. “You just got here.”

“I’m going to let you believe that.”

“Thanks.” Meredith added sarcastically.

“You’re welcome.” Christina’s smile widened.

Meredith sighed. “Go ahead. Say it.”

“Say what?’

“Whatever it is you’re about to say.”

“It’s nothing. Just an observation really. I just noticed that it’s hard to breathe with you two around, taking up all the oxygen.”

Meredith groaned.

Yang laughed. “I’m not done.” She whipped out her phone and ushered Meredith toward a more discreet corner of the room. “I just started doing some research. We want to make sure you know… Well, you’ll see. This is what I found so far.” Christina opened the browser and scrolled down until she got to the one she wanted. She muted the sound and pressed play.

“Oh my God!” Meredith hissed. She covered her mouth.

“Should I send you the link? It’s a free site. It’s called YouPorn.”

“You’re horrible!” Meredith exclaimed and promptly began laughing. Abruptly, she stopped and tilted her head to the side. “Jesus…is that possible?”

“I’m sure Addison would know.”

Grey started laughing again.

***

Meredith yawned and turned to study Addison’s profile.

They stopped at a red light.

Addison glanced at her. “You’re staring.”

Meredith grinned. “I know. It’s a good thing trust me.”

“Mmm, so…how do you feel about all this?” Addison asked.

“You’re not as rusty as you think.”

“Yes, I am. This was definitely not my thing, but it felt like it could be, especially with you.”

Meredith bit her bottom lip as warmth teemed through her, leaving her a little breathless. “Did you say things like this to everyone you were involved with?”

“No, that must be you too.”

As they continued to look at each other, Grey’s heart stuttered then stopped completely. Meredith unhooked her seat belt and leaned over. Sliding a hand to the back of Addison’s neck, she pulled her forward slightly just enough for their lips to brush. The tenderness in the moment filled Meredith, leaving her shaken to the core.

  


 

 

 


End file.
